Chapter 1
Senior year; usually a year of celebration, which it's exaggerated here in Wyland. Everyone wants out, to just get done with it and go. Senior year here consists of several traditions, most riskier than others, the majority requiring the populars to participate. You win a challenge, you're usually accepted into the group. The challenges are usually extremely difficult, from what I've witnessed as a underclassman. Walking across the quarry on a metal landing, a game called Target where you race someone to catch and jump onto a moving train, and, of course, Panic. Panic was how I was accepted, just because I'm good at daydreaming and blocking things out, also the nonexistent fear of death.
Nothings keeping me to want to stay alive, no one except my dad and my brother, who could easily go without me. My younger brother, Austin, he's 8, would probably be better off without me. He looks up to me but that's probably his first mistake. I'm no one to look up to. Dad was gone most of the time, working as a police officer and the pastor of the small town for 3 years now. Mom passed early on, a year from Austin's birth. It was a heartattack out of the blue and I witnessed it. I was the only one home besides Austin who was in his crib in the other room and we were just making crafts when she collapsed and started convulsing. I didn't know what to do, I just stared for too long as I panicked, I guess before dad ran in and screamed at me. He abused me that night. I never trusted him again.
That's probably the reason I am still alive, to keep up with Austin and make sure he grows up a good kid. I want to get him away one day, that's why I play Panic, I guess. I save up the money I win to get out as soon as I get my diploma. I'm hoping I can get somewhere far away, quick.
"Ali, you there?" A hand sweeps in front of my face, bringing me back to reality. Rylie sits facing me on the tracks, his blonde hair limply strewn across one eye. Rylie is my best friend, has been since TK, the only one that truly gets me beneath the layers of fake friends. He's also the only person I can trust around here.
"No," I murmur. I don't even know how it got this late out; I swear when we came here it was 5. I sigh and slump even more. "I want out of here."
He snickers, "Don't we all?"
"You know what I mean, I need out of here."
"You have Noah.." I roll my eyes as soon as he says it. He hates him, it's a proven fact. Noah happens to be my boyfriend, also the captain of the men's volleyball team and the schools prize possession. It only makes sense for me to date him, and so we are. I've convinced myself that I need him, that he loves me and I love him, when he actually makes me feel worthless. He has eyes for every girl in school but me, which usually doesn't help my reputation any more.
"Noah's... Noah.." I trail off. The train tracks vibrate slightly from underneath us, indicating the approaching train. I stand and start walking down the dirt path with Rylie close behind. We don't talk for awhile, just let it be silent.
"Are you actually going home tonight?" He asks after awhile. Okay, going home was a thing I didn't do often. Dad would be home and I'm not interested in getting yelled at. The only reason I ever did was during the day and it was to bring Austin back home from school. I essentially lived at Rylie's loft place he has worked to pay off, most of the time.
"I will next week, Aus is having an end of the year picnic with his class and he invited me so I'll be staying there. It still alright if I stay at the loft?" I ask. I throw a rock at a brick wall next to me absently.
"'Course. Can I ask you something?" I nod. "why are you dating Noah?"
"I dunno, Ry. He's a- good guy.." There's really not much to say about Noah besides he's extremely attractive and he's popular. He isn't a good guy, if anything. He's honestly a jerk to anyone and everyone who gets in front of his way. I force a laugh. "That wasn't believable at all, was it?"
"Not at all.. but I'll let it slide. Just be careful around him okay?" Noah has a-reputation- to be a player and I can see where it's coming from. He sure acts like it, it seems. But I hang in there, to keep my popularity because I can't go back to be the weird girl.
"I will, Ry. Hey, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" He nods once before going to his own room while I climb up the makeshift ladder to the loft space. I don't have much space up here but it's better than being with dad. And I like it, it's safe for once, and I really just want to feel safe but there's always the nagging feeling that this can't last forever.
