✔Endearment of Darkness (EoD)

19.He likes his name?

Omg! Omg! Omg! I'm freaking-f**king-out! He's here?! How did he come inside?! When did he come here? How long have he been staying here?! Why didn't he let me see him? I have of tone of questions to ask him! But I acted like dumb!

Oh gosh, why did I touch his face?! Stupid hands of mine! I look at them. What's this red dot on my arm? I touch it. Injection. He did this? How? He is a doctor? But Doctors have busy life, he won't follow me like a love sick puppy! Why the f**k is he here?

You got fever stupid!

Yeah, right. I shivered terribly last night, I ate an apple and slept immediately. I sigh and look at mirror in bathroom. Is this me? There are bags under my eyes. My hair is like someone has pulled it in every direction. I stink, it's embarrassing! Ugh! He has seen me in my worst!

I took my time brushing my teeth recalling his face features. I like the feeling when I rub my palms on his beard. Nikki's beard. Nikki. There's another man in my house! And he touched me!

You touched him too!

Why did I do that? When I close my eyes to recall his features, all I see is Nikki's face! Why, Nikki?

But he is not Nikki?!

I know that but why am I expecting him to be Nikki? Why? Tears are twirling in my eyes, he is not Nikki? Why am I feeling like this? Why am I expecting him to be my dead husband? This is wrong, he's a stranger but he helped me when I'm sick. He's the one giving me hope to wake up every morning. He's not Nikki, I have to accept that.

I touch my stomach when I feel baby moves inside me. It's overwhelming whenever he moves. I start the shower and stand under it for minutes. He is not Nikki. He is not Nikki. I have to remember it and I have to ask this guy everything but I'm afraid to know about him because I don't want to wake up from this dream. I don't know why I asked him to stay. Am I afraid to be alone? I'm living alone for months.

My head is aching from thinking this much, I need to stop thinking and it's hard for me to stand this long, I stood under the shower like from hours. I took bath slowly, my body is aching everywhere. I'm hungry like I haven't eaten anything for a week. I finish bathing and groan when I remember that I don't have fresh clothes inside.

I haven't brought anything inside the bathroom so I dried with my dirty cloths and wore the same. I have to change, what if he is still in bedroom? I took a deep breath and opened the door. I look around, he is not here. Alright. I said to myself and step inside. I haven't listened to his response when I asked him to stay, that means he is not staying? I sigh and open my wardrobe.

Oh god! He knows I named him as Darker now. The box is sitting on the table. Shit.

I quickly changed into night gown and walk to living room, hmm, he's really gone. Why am I disappointing? I frown when I glance at couch. There is tray full of food and large glass of milk.