Holding On (MAICHARD)

ALWAYS

WARNING: FICTION

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RJ Faulkerson Jr. POV

November 27, 2017

I was co-hosting the segment, Trip Ubusan in Eat Bulaga with Tita Ruby when I felt the need to run to the comfort room. During the time where the contestants were dancing, I asked Ta Rubs if it was okay for her if I leave because Im not really feeling so well. Alam niyang hindi na maganda ang pakiramdam ko kanina pa. I barely ate during lunch and everytime I'd try to eat, I feel like I'd vomit everything out.

"Nak, tara na. Pumunta na lang tayong hospital. Kanina ka pang umaga walang kinain eh." Before I could even answer, Mama Ten already started packing my things.

"Sige ma. Hindi ko na rin tlaga kaya. Masakit na yung tiyan ko, hindi lang ata ito basta sakit lang ng tiyan eh."

I knew that I needed to get checked. Hindi ko na kasi alam ang nararamdaman ko at pakiramdam ko any minute hihimatayin ako. Nagpaalam ako kay Bossing at Boss Joey bago umalis at naintindihan naman nila and sitwasyon ko.

Bago pa man kami dumating sa hospital, ay nakahanda na ang kwarto kung saan ako magstay. Leysam made sure that my time in the hospital will be kept private.

"Nak, tawagan ko na ba si Menggay?"

"Ma, huwag! Huwag mong tatawagan si Menggay. Nagpapahinga yun ngayon, nagiisip-isip. Baka mamaya mas lalong hindi na niya ako balikan. Ayokong makadagdag sa mga iniisip niya. Okay lang ako ma, hayaan muna natin si Menggay. Kapag magaling na ako, saka ko na lang siya ulit pupuntahan."

Miss na miss ko na si Menggay. Gustong gusto ko na siyang makausap pero alam kong mag-aalala lang iyon siya sa akin. Alam kong mahal pa rin ako ng Menggay ko. Alam kong ayaw niya lang akong idamay sa pinagdadaanan niya pero hinding hindi ko siya susukuan dahil mahal ko siya at dahil iyon ang ipinangako ko sa kanya at sa kaniyang pamilya.

Hospital Room 3:30PM

My dad came rushing in my room, panting and was dead worried. I know. He is my dad and I'm thankful and I will probably be just like him if I have my own family. I will be as worried as him if this happen to my kids too.

"Nak! Okay ka na ba? Sabi ko naman kasi sayo kagabi na mag-pacheck ka na para maagapan agad eh. Ikaw kasi ang tigas ng ulo mo tlaga. Magagalit sayo si Menggay kapag malaman niya na to. Saka huwag ka ngang basta basta na lang magkakakain ng kung ano-ano diyan. Ikaw talaga! Yung lola mo alalang alala sayo. Alam mo ibebenta na lang kita kay Menggay para may nagaalaga na talaga sayo."

I was smiling the whole time that he was ranting.

"Hay naku dad, tama na yan. Okay na po ako, huwag na po kayo masyadong mag-alala."

"Eh papaanong hindi magalala eh ilang araw ka na namang subsob sa trabaho tapos ngayon heto nasa hospital ka. Mabuti nga at nasa malapit lang ako at kasama ko pa sina Balae."

"Po?"

I didn't even noticed that Tatay and Nanay were there, standing behind dad.

"Nay! Tay!"

I immediately tried to stand up so I could pay my respects to them but I was quickly reprimanded by Nanay to stay still and not move anymore. Sila na lang ang lumapit sa akin para makapagmano ako.

"Nak, ano ba nangyari? Paano ka na food poison?"

"Hindi ko din po alam Nay eh, mukha naman po kasing okay yung mga pagkain. Baka po may mishandling lang ng food Nay."

I could see the worried look on both Nanay and Tatay's face and I now I feel so guilty for making them worry.

"Im sorry po Dad, Nay, Tay kung pinagalala ko pa po kayo. Okay na po ako at na-check na po ako ng doktor. Kapag okay na daw po yung lagay ko mamaya pwede na akong makalabas bukas. Hindi naman po ganoon kalala, talagang nasabayan lang po ng pagod at walang tulog na din kaya hindi ko nakayanan."

"Ikaw talaga. Magpahinga ka din naman. Magpapasko na din kaya bawasan mo na yung trabaho."

"Eh syempre po Tay, kailangan ko pa po ng ipon para po sa future namin ni Menggay."

Sa sinabi kong iyon ay nabatukan pa ako ni Dad.

"Alam mo ikaw talaga, may sakit ka na nga at lahat nagawa mo pang magpapogi points dito kay balae"

"Alam mo RJ, kahit naman tumigil ka na sa pagaartista kayang kaya mo ng ibigay sa anak ko ang mga kailangan niya eh. Maliban sa mga materyal na bagay na kaya mong ibigay sa kanya, yung pagmamahal, pagiintindi at pagaalaga mo ang kailangan niya. Iyon ang mga bagay na hindi kailanman mabibili ng kahit anong salapi at iyon ang mga bagay na kailangan sa isang relasyon. Naiintindihan mo ako Nak?"

"Opo Tay. Maraming salamat po."

"Kaya magpagaling ka na at kailangan ka na ng reyna mo."

"Oo nga po eh. Sana po huwag na lang po muna nating sabihin kay Meng, baka po kasi mag-alala lang iyon."

I knew I was asking too much from them pero sana maintindihan nila kung bakit.

"We'll try nak."

Hospital Room 10:45PM

It is quarter to eleven already and I am still having a hard time sleeping. Mama Ten was already snoring her way to her dreams as of the moment. I decided to turn on an instrumental music, I turned facing the window, I prayed again, I closed my eyes and started trying to go to sleep.

I was just trying to fall asleep when I heard the door open, and footsteps were coming towards me. I thought it was the nurse checking the IV Drip. But before I even turned my body, I already knew that comforting smell. I knew it. Its her. She's here.

"Maine."

Maine rushed to his side and hugged him tight. Sensing the need to talk, Nanay Dub and Tatay Dub left the two and the sleeping Mama Ten in the room.

"Love, are you okay?"

"I am. Now that youre here. I love you." RJ kissed hugged Maine and kissed her senselessly.

"Gahd! I missed you. Please dont scare me like that again."

"Please dont break up with me again. I cant live without you love."

"Never love. Not anymore. Im scared. Im scared of losing you."

He held her face and looked into her eyes.

"Youre never going to lose me. Sabi ko sayo di ba na ako ang alon na babalik at babalik sayo. You will always have me. Always."

That night, they slept wrapped in each other's arms knowing they'll have each other for the rest of their lives

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This was written after the first Open Letter of Maine. I guess hanggang dito lang din kaya ko.

Thank you sa pagbabasa.