Meeting The Love of my life KimSeokJin

My Fear

I went home and no one was there. That's not a surprise.. no one is ever home.

I walked upstairs then went up into my room and laid on my bed. It was weird... being home again, i really would have wanted to stay there with Jin so i can hold him all day as we cuddle in bed.. I would of loved every moment. Yet it didn't happen because i had decided not to stay.. neither could i have stayed because they wouldn't of allowed it.

I looked outside from the window and sighed as i laid there. 

~So much nature and light.~

i smiled to myself as i remember how Jin came into the bathroom and hugged me from behind and then whispered into my ear. "Marry me?"

~I couldn't hold back the happiness. I loved it, it made my heart beat faster each second.. i never thought id hear those words. It has always been my fear..to get married and have children.. because i never knew how i would end up as a mother and how i would be with my husband... what if he stopped loving me at some point in our marriage? or if he falls in love with another women.. while married to me.~

~I didn't want it to happen just yet... i wanted to learn about the man and how he would treat me in the marriage... i just hope the man i'm marrying is the man i actually wanna spend my life with.. i mean i know Jin is the best guy and i know he wouldn't hurt me.... but what if he does.... men can change at times... and i know by experience.~

~I want to love you with everything i have... and i can only do that if you give me your all. Constantly remind me how much you love me so i never forget. Love me till the day i die and make sure i die for a good reason.. never let me go and always tell me to smile. Tell me how much you care and tell me you see the good things in me and always want that for me.~

~I shall never give you up if you really love me Jin. If you love me so, then i shall love you with everything i have and if you don't love me all that much.. i will try to stay by your side and at least keep you happy.~

~All i wanna do is love you and it's what i plan to do.~

i rolled around my bed and caught a wiff of the smell from Jin's shirt.

"It smells like him"  I smiled to myself.

I wonder if one day he will really wanna marry me.