Heal Me, Love Me

I dip my head under the boiling hot water again, putting my face into the steady pressure of water and allow it to rinse over my numb body. Switching off the water, and climbing out of the small cubicle, I catch a look of myself in the large mirror hung on the wall of my small, fogged up bathroom.

My under eyes are oh so black, and my hip bones look more prominent than they ever have. Where have I gone? Suddenly, a strong, muscular hand slings around my waist, and everything is better.

Sam is standing there, leaving a trail of kisses from my ear to my collar bone. A face splitting smile spreads across my now full-of-life face. I turn in Sam’s arms and cup his face. When I open my eyes, it’s not him. Instead, a different version of my Sam is there and he is hysterically laughing. His sandy blond hair is now a dark brown, and his eyes are red and full of hate. He is slowly fading away from my touch.

No. No. No.

“Sam!” I sob, “Don’t leave! You can’t, you can’t leave! – not again”

“Mia! Wake up, wake up! For Christ’s sake, wake up!” A persistent pair of hands are shaking my shoulders.

My eyes quickly open, being burnt by the unwelcome morning sunlight. Chloe, my best friend stands before me. I can see the tears slowly roll down her cheeks, and her eyes are full of anxiety.

“It was a nightmare, another one,” she says coolly,

I let out an exasperated sigh, as a single tear slides down my face. My whole body stays numb, I can barely feel Chloe’s tight hug around my stiff body.

“Thank you for waking me.” I sound cold, and distant. I am.

Shit, I think. That’s the fifth time I’ve had a dream like that this week.

Chloe sighs. “Its eight AM. You have to get up. I’m sorry.” The reverence in her voice lets me know that she’s not only apologising about the time.

Before me, Chloe stands in our scratchy blue school uniform. She wears it well, though. She can always pull off anything. Walking myself into the bathroom, I swipe away the drying tears on my face. Not today No crying today. My subconscious whispers.

After applying a small amount of makeup, (mainly covering the rack of bags underneath my eyes) I hoist my soft hair into a messy bun. It’s all I can manage, but I am pretty happy about how I scrub up. Some shade has returned to my cheeks, and I slip into my extremely uncomfortable uniform. When I walk downstairs, Chloe is there, packing my lunch into my school bag.

“I put your laptop in there, but I couldn’t find your pencil case. Also, is a chicken salad sandwich good?” She mothers me.

“Yes, thank you.” I politely give her a small smile, knowing full well that I won’t be able to eat the food.

“No worries. We better go, or we’ll be late. We can’t be late on the first day of our most important year!” Chloe leads me out of my small, shabby home, waiting for me to follow.

She smoothly drives through the city, bending in and out of traffic.

The weather is being read over the radio by someone who sounds like they would much rather not be doing what they are, but to me it’s all just background noise.

“It’s been a month,” I mumble. Chloe’s hand reaches over to mine on my lap.

“I know,” she coos. “But it will get easier. Sam loved you with all his heart. If he saw how you were right now, he’d feel horrible. You’ve got to be positive, girl. For him” She adds, and I am suddenly overwhelmed by her words. Can I do this on my own? Without him?

My name is Mia Sate, and I am 17 years old living on my own in Melbourne, Australia. I am currently completing my final year of high school, and dealing with the heartbreaking death of my long-time boyfriend, Sam.

This is going to be one hell of a healing process. 

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A/N 

Hey guys! Welcome to my newest story! This is only the epiogue, so please dont worry that Louis isn't in it yet. This story was written on a rainy day, and i have honestly no clue where i will take it and if anyone is even going to read it ha. Please tell me if you enjoy the story - your words are very motivting. :) 

Lil x