Alcoholics Anonymous [GW]

Chapter 11.

"I love you, Gerard!"

At first, I think I'm saying those words, and mentally slap myself, but for some reason I can't feel my hands...

Oh yeah.

The voice talking is deep, deeper than mine, and when I try to open my mouth to take back those words, I'm unable to. Must not be me, then.

Another voice, more muted, probably Gerard, continues. He sounds agitated.

The "I love you" voice speaks again. I figure out who it is.

Frank.

That explains everything- the hate, the jealousy, the argument in the bar, and the murder. I almost forgive him, because I know exactly how he feels. Almost.

I somehow summon the inner strength to pull myself to a sitting position against a wall, and feel my head with my hand. It feels like I have a pretty bad bump on my forehead, and a cut on my leg begins to bleed. I don't even think of revenge. Something catches in my mouth, and I remember the piece of Frank's shirt. I spit it out onto the ground, choking and coughing. Ew.

I seem to be alive, though. And that's a plus, right?

I find that I'm able to support my body weight on my feet, and wobble over to the doorway. I don't go out, because I don't want to confront Frank now, I'm a little scared of what the man can do. I stay hidden in the shadows of the china cabinet, where I get a good view of the argument outside.

Gerard's sandpaper voice speaks first, "Frank, I don't-"

"Stop Gerard. You just don't know what's good and bad for you. Who's always been here for you? Not Cath. Who believed in you when no one else did? Not Cath. It was me, Gerard. You know me,"

"But Frank, it's- you've been a great friend, I just can't! Not like... like that."

"Give me a chance!" Frank is pleading now.

If Gerard was angry before, he was furious now. "You nearly killed her! You could've- could've hurt her!"

"It was for you! She's-"

"She's my girlfriend," Gerard says it softly and firmly.

And then Frank breaks. His face gave more of the the effect that he'd been slapped by a weightlifter rather than he'd been told that the man he had risked his life for had a girlfriend. A tear slipped from his cheek, and he reached up a tattooed hand to wipe it away.

Girlfriend. Did Gerard just call me his girlfriend? Are we dating? I have done this once before and that didn't go well. Gerard didn't say he loved me, but that was okay. It's hard once love is involved, if this episode with Frank taught me nothing. I don't know honestly if I'm ready for this, ready to face either.

Gerard lowers his voice. "Now, Frank, I have 911 on dial here. I'm going to have to kick you out of the band, too,"

"P-lease," Frank whispers, looking up at Gerard with a tiny sliver of hope.

Gerard twists his lip. "You know what, I'm not going to do anything. We'll let Cath decide what happens to you,"

Frank vigorously shakes his head, pouring his heart out through his eyes. Gerard starts for the parlor, but I step out of the shadows before he gets there.

I have the words on the tip of my tongue. Go kill yourself. Just as I'm about to say them, I pull them back. That's harsh, especially since I know exactly how that feels, and Gerard does care for Frank, even if not as much as Frank hoped. Besides, I have worse torture for him planned.

I keep my distance, for safety's sake. "How old is he?" I ask to Gerard about Frank.

Gerard doesn't even hesitate. He has Frank memorized. "17."

So he wouldn't go to jail. Good.

I address Gerard. "Keep him in the band. Let him see you every day, living your life without him in it. Let him know that he doesn't mean anything to you. Let him catch you with girls. That's more pain than any death. Plus, he's a good guitar player. But-" I say, stopping my compliments, "Call the police. They'll just make him do service projects or anger management, since I didn't die," I bite my lip and stare at the two boys, threatening them.

Gerard nods in shock, surprised I didn't kick him out. But he couldn't contradict me.

He nods and calls the police.

-

Later, Gerard tells me the police took and interviewed Frank. Because he was a minor, and damage wasn't deadly, they sent him to a six-month anger management session and had to do 30 hours of community service, just as I predicted.

I don't tell Emma the whole story, only that I got best up by some random guy. Emma gave me a new phone, so that she could "keep an eye on me".

Gerard hasn't addressed the girlfriend statement, and I don't bring it up. I'm curious, but he called me and asked me if it was okay for him to come over after next week's AA, since he's afraid that Frank may hurt me again.

I lay down on my soft couch/bed and stare at the curtains in slight dismay. Shouldn't I be happy?

Sometimes, it feels like I'm just sad about nothing.

(Ok this chapter was /highly\ requested by my friend! It's a little short, but a cute Catherard one will be coming later! Thank you for reading!)