Kokichi Ouma: *exists*
Me: i saw a man so beautiful i started crying? i immediately felt compelled to give him the nine dollars i had in my bag and say "you are the best looking person i have ever seen so i think you deserve this and i was gonna buy my lunch with this but whatever" but decided against it. and then i started crying. i seriously cried for an hour. i ran into the bathroom and came out later and i was even more tired than before. i don't know why i cried because of that and he was better looking than all the models i'd seen ever!
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someone: *insults THE Kokichi Ouma*
Me: hey there dude buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don’t mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya, if you take one more diddly darn step right there i'm going to have to diddly darn snap your neck and wowza wouldn’t that be a crummy juncture, huh? do you want that? do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with you my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
