Why? // Vkook [Completed]

{1}

Edited

I woke up in a white room. I looked around and saw that I was in a hospital room, on a hospital bed and my mom asleep on a chair next to it. How did I get here? I looked at my arm and started thinking. The last thing I remember is, that I wanted to make just a small cut but it lead to more and after that, everything went black. Now I'm here. Just great.

"Mom, wake up." I said when I slightly hit her arm. Her eyes opened widely and she just stared at me like she didn't know what to say. Tears started to appear in her eyes.

"Why?" she suddenly sobbed. She laid her head in her hands and started crying even more. "Why would you h-hurt yourself like that? Did I d-do something? W-was it my fault?" she barely spoke.

"No mom, you did nothing, it's not your fault." I pulled her into a tight hug. It's true, she did nothing wrong and I don't want her to think that it was her fault.

"T-then w-why?" she asked and lifted her head and looked deep into my eyes as if she could read me like a book. "I-I don't know. I g-guess I thought I deserve it. I can't explain it  but it released the pain." I tried to explain to her but I don't know how.

She just stared at me and didn't say a word. After a few seconds of silence, she just pulled me closer to her and hugged me. I can feel her tears falling on my shoulders and I couldn't help but to start crying myself.

"Please d-don't do it a-anymore. I k-know it hard on y-you because of your dad, but p-please don't do it again I c-can't lose you too." she begged me.

"I-I can try but I c-can't promise anything. I'm s-sorry mom." I cried as quietly as possible. I don't want her to be worried, I know it's hard for her but it's not easy for me ether. Ever since dad left us it's been weird. Mom can barely do anything and I'm failing almost all classes. I want to help but I don't know how. Every time I ask her if she needs help, she says no when it's obvious that she does.

"It's okay, but you'll still need to see a therapist or at least the school guidance counselor. Please Tae." she said while letting go of me. She took my hands and looked at me seriously waiting for me to answer her.

I didn't know what to say but she was looking at me with hope in her eyes and I just couldn't say no. "Fine mom, I'll go but to the guidance counselor it will be easier plus I don't want a therapist." I quickly said and a smile grew on her face.

Before she could say anything the doctor came in the room. " Well Kim Taehyung, you finally woke up. You lost a lot of blood but no need to worry, we'll fix you up and you're good to go." "How long was I out?" I asked before the doctor could leave. "Oh, almost a day. You are very lucky that your friends found you." he said turning around. I was taken aback. "My f-friends?" I stuttered.

"Honey, Jimin and a boy named Jungkook found you. Thank the freaking god they did." mom explained. Who is Jungkook? I don't know anyone by that name. I just hope that Jimin isn't too angry.

"Look kid, I think it's better if you go home, you'll feel better in your own bed then here. Alright?" the doctor said as he approached the door.

I just nodded and stared getting up. "Let me help you sweetie." mom rushed towards me like I was gonna fall or something. "I got it mom, don't worry." I tried to calm her down.

I slowly stripped off my clothes and just stared at my bandages. I did that. Well of course you did. How could you forget I made you do it. Please not now. I felt my mom's eyes glued to my arms but I couldn't face her stare, I was too ashamed to even look at her in the eyes.

When I got dressed, I started walking towards the door when I felt someone pull me back into a hug. A tear dropped from my eye and hit mom's shoulder. "It's okay. We'll get through this together. Don't worry it'll be fine." she slightly rubbed my back before letting go of the hug.

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When we got home, I ran straight into my room. I just couldn't help but wonder how the bathroom looks so I slowly opened the door only to see a bloody disaster. My knees were too weak to hold me up and I fell into the puddle of blood. I started crying and I just couldn't stop. Suddenly, the door flew open behind me and my mom was staring at me with her eyes full of tears.

"Sweetie I d-didn't want you to see this, go to bed please. I'll clean this up, okay?" she softly spoke and hugged me from behind. I just nodded although I felt guilty because it was my fault and I should be the one cleaning that mess but I didn't want to argue with her.

I stood up and walked out the door into my bedroom. I stripped of the bloody clothes and putted on an oversized shirt and some old shorts. Standing next to my bed, looking at it made me fell even more tired so I slowly laid down and went under the sheets. My eyes were closing and all I could think about was what are my friends going to think about me. They're going to hate you. Look at what you did you should be ashamed. They'll be so disappointed. No, they won't you don't know them, They don't even know what's going on. You'll see. Go to sleep you need the rest for tomorrow. With that thought I drifted to sleep.

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Hey hey
Soooo this is the first chapter I hope you like it.

~Rinah