Thoughts

I might

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to have a bit

of dignity

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to wear

what i walk past

when i enter the store

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to convince them

to see myself

the way

nobody sees me now

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to sleep at night

without the scratch marks

on my thighs

or on my stomach

or on my neck

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to have the confidence

a human being

might need

to survive

without the premature attempt

of speeding up the end

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to look

in the mirror

and not want to shove

my fist into it

and use a shard

to slit my throat

or anything else

maybe after i lose weight

i might be able

to breathe

to think

to live

to eat

to love

to speak

to die

with a lighter heart

-n.j

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Well this was..