I don't know what to call this

~ G A V E ~

I've always longed for something that was always so out of my reach. Something that was so far fetched.

Well.. in my case at least.

My life -although seemingly complete some would think- was always filled with longing.
Maybe it's because I'm selfish.. or maybe because I was so full emotion, overflowing with so much to offer.
I had so much to give.

I longed for something to project my all unto.
To project all my hopes and dreams, my wishes and wants.

I longed for a person.

Someone who knew what it was like to hope for a love of content and peace. A love full of wonder and hope.
A love that was pure and innocent, but also raw.

I didn't think it was too much to ask for at the time.
Was it?
In this day and age dreams like that will leave you in the dust, empty and unfulfilled.
You wouldn't stand a chance.

Believe me, I would know, for I myself didn't stand a chance against the pain that that longing brought.

So I gave up. And as pathetic and unheroic as that sounds, continuing to hold onto what would've destroyed me in more ways than it already had would've been the end of me. It was pointless.

I can't say that I necessarily saved myself in that situation because, in my opinion, to be saved is to end in, at the least, content.
And what I am is anything but that.

I thought that's how my life would've been like for the rest of my life. That is until I met you.

God, how I want to hate you for triggering that feeling inside me. The same feeling that would leave me in the dark.

You gave me another meaning.