I Can't Do This Anymore (Percy Jackson)

Chapter Four

Nico

Three days later, in the middle of the night, I woke up to something I couldn't figure out right away.

Percy was crying.

"What..." I said as I was waking up, and I looked over at him and realized that the sound he made were muffled sobs. Trying not to wake me. "Oh my gods, Percy! What's wrong? What happened?"

Sitting up, I wiped away a few tears and that's about as close as he let me get. And he just shook his head, thinking I'd actually believe nothing's wrong.

He had amnesia. The depression was bound to come back eventually.

It took a bit, but I got him out into the living room. It's more open there, he might feel less trapped. Breathe easier.

"Now just because you had amnesia doesn't mean you've changed entirely," I insisted, giving him a glass of water to keep himself hydrated. "I'm not dumb, Percy. You did try to kill yourself, after all. You can't tell me that nothing's wrong."

He was nervously playing with my hand at this point in time. The crying was essentially over, but the thoughts weren't.

"I just... I don't get it." My boyfriend told me, sounding lost. "I'm a fucking wreck, all I've done is hurt others. Why would you care about me? Even this last summer..."

So he has his memory back.

I put my other hand over his and gave him a little squeeze.

"You know," I opened myself up to who the actual Percy Jackson was. The one that I fell for. The one I really do love. "I fucking torture myself over that for years. And you are a train wreck. But you don't just hurt other people, Percy. You went to the Underworld on a quest you never asked for to rescue your mom. When you couldn't, you made Zeus swear he would get her out. You had a dream about Grover needing help, and you snuck out to do so. Annabeth went missing, and you snuck out again. I went missing, and you did the same exact thing after I tried to almost kill you."

"I let your sister die."

"Oh, bullshit." I called him out on that. "It had nothing to do with you, Percy. You had no way to stop her, and you know that. You have helped out so many people, Percy, it's unbelievable. Just because your dad's an asshole doesn't mean that you're just like him. You've done amazing things, Percy. The gods just need to learn to fuck off and give you time to get over what happened. You could've ignored me after my sister died. Everyone else did. I was a freak, remember? I didn't belong there? But you still tried. You still believed in me after I tried to kill you and ran away. Who else does that?"

He shrugged. "Jason."

"I wish," I told him, and that had his attention. "When you were in the hospital, I got worried. Jason noticed and he knew about it. It's long story, I'll tell you later what happened. But he freaked out on me and told me that I was being dumb, and that I should just give up because you were a psycho. And yes, he called you a psycho. He said worrying was dumb and I snapped and told him why I was worried and he said that you deserved it. Leo slapped him. It was... Bottom line, Percy, you're better than you want to believe. You befriended a freak who pretended to hate you. I really don't think anyone else would do that. So I care about you, yeah. Because if you're not going to, somebody has to."

He slowly nodded his head, trying to understand everything I just told him.

"So you don't want to b..."

"It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to break up with you, Percy," I informed my boyfriend, giving him a hug, "we're going to get through this. And we're doing it together."