Memoirs of a Vampire

Three

His reaction didn't exactly help me to calm. Quite the opposite, I got even more hysterical. He rolled his eyes at me and harshly grabbed my arm, not to offer support, but to prohibit me from moving away.

'I will so regret this.', he said cynically, seemingly more to himself and set off, while bluntly dragging me along with him. 'Hey!', I snapped at him, however without getting anywhere.

'Ow! You're hurting me. This is assault!', I tried again, only getting a grumble as a response. In the meantime we had arrived at the parking space of the graveyard, where a single car was parked, a monstrosity of a pick-up. Felix thrust me into the side of the vehicle and covered my visual field with his body. 'You are clinically dead, therefore I can assure you, that assault is no longer the suitable term for these findings. I'm afraid, that the constitutional state does no longer represent your interests anyhow. Unless you can convince them to postpone your trial to night time.', he responded quietly, in a tone of voice, that was oozing sarcasm. 'Clinically dead?', I echoed weakly. The reality still hadn't caught on to me.

Felix face got perceptibly more tender and he placed his hand on my shoulder, to comfort me. "I know, that this is a lot at once, but we really should get going. I can explain you everything at my place and you can yell at me a bit more." His tone of voice was noticeably softer and sympathetic, though he was still continuously scanning the expansive environment, as if he felt watched, or as if he was worried, that we could be overtaken. I was still filled with sheer panic. The blood had granted me a brief moment of relief and stability, but now everything was alien again. I didn't know my own body, my own abilities, have had a blackout for an undetermined amount of time and was now alone with a complete stranger, whom I thought of as shady and violent, in a graveyard. Not to mention his 'clinically dead'-statement. Furiously I pushed him of me and started running, but not even a second later he had caught up to me. And that is not an exaggeration as a deliberately used stylistic device, rather the breathtaking and unbelievable truth. I hadn't even properly started running, when he was in front of me and held me. "You freak!", I insulted him once again and unsuccessfully tried to free myself. "Trust me, I won't do anything to you. And I imagine you also don't want to be found in a cemetery in the middle of the night. Let alone get on a bus or in a taxi." His eyes derogatorily wandered over my body.

Unfortunately he had a point and even I, in my intemperate and irritable state, had to admit that. Nevertheless there was that image of Jacky being under drugs, that haunted me. Felix suspected, where my thoughts were headed, before I even enunciated them and anticipated me: "Your friend is fine, she got home unharmed." He reached in the pocket of his jacket and got my smartphone out. With a "Here, see for yourself." he gave it to me. The display showed several missed messages, among them a message from Jacky, that she wanted to meet me, followed from an outraged demand, that I should answer. "And everything between the two of us was consensual, there were no drugs involved.", he also anticipated my further concerns and looked at me urgently. For the time being at least I made no more attempts to get away, although I wasn't fully convinced. Felix assumed, that I gave in, let go of me and went back to the car, where he opened the passenger door, to than make a welcoming gesture towards me. Reluctantly I finally entered the car, plain and simple, because I didn't see an alternative option, and also because Felix wouldn't give me another choice.

"What do you remember?", Felix started the conversation, while he started the engine and drove off. I gazed out in the night to the empty road and put my thoughts in order. "After the club we went to your place. You disappeared with Jacky, when she came back, she seemed stoned, like she had taken something. Consequently I started looking for you, to than somehow fall down.", I answered truthfully. "After that I don't remember anything.", I added.

Felix cleared his throat, before he started to answer in a monotone voice: "You head-on hit the edge of the bed. An unfortunate accident. You must have had a cerebral hemorrhage. The alcohol diluted your blood, so that an enormous pressure build up very quickly." He took his eyes of the road and glanced at me, to assess, to what extend I'd grasped the situation. "The grave. The bloodbag.", I replied haltingly and jittery rubbed the dirt of my hands. "Am I..? Are you..?"

Felix took his eyes of me, though it seemed, as if it wasn't necessary, that he looked back on the street, rather that he didn't want to look me in the eyes. Or maybe he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. "All help would've been to late. Within less than thirty seconds you were dead. I... I gave you my blood, actually to save your life, but your injuries were to severe. My blood couldn't save you, instead only initiate your transformation.", "Transformation? In a... Than you are... You are...", I concluded, without pronouncing the obvious. "A vampire.", Felix finally phrased it after a momentary pause. Afterwards there was silence.

V-A-M-P-I-R-E

To hear it spoken out loud was oddly definitive. In hindsight this moment could most likely be compared to a cancer diagnose, or that conversation, where the doctor tells you, that there is nothing more they can do for you and that you should settle your matters. I mean my generation can probably name more correct facts regarding the transition into a vampire, than they know details regarding chronic illnesses. We can thank Buffy, Edward, Damon and Eric Northman for that.