C.R and C.G imagines

11 "Sorry, i dont feel the same way (part 2)

MAJOR WARNINGS: Trigger warning, extremely sad, mentions of suicide. Read at your own risk
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You were numb to all feeling. "Sorry, I don't feel the same way" what was supposed to be the most amazing night ever, turned out to be the worst. What was the point? Of living I mean. Your family was dead, you had no friends, (you scared Enid, Ron and Mikey are dead, and Carl...) you sigh, what's the point.
What made it even worse was the fact that you didn't hear him trying to stop you, Why was this happening? Maybe you should have stayed quiet...maybe you never should have told him. Your gaze stayed on the floor in front of you, your mind racing, nothing making sense. You didn't want to face Carl in the morning, you didn't want to face anyone in the morning.
Your deranged mind lead you to the armory, where the weapons and the guns were. Silencers lines the wall as your fingers trailed them lightly, picking one up, holding it tightly in your hand. Your eyes ran over the different pistols and small guns, landing on yours when you first arrived in Alexandria.
FLASHBACK
You were sitting next to Carl, the run down car slowing to a stop as it approached the gates of Alexandria. Your palms were sweaty, you wiped them on your jeans, freezing once you felt fingers overlap yours. "Hm?" "It'll be fine. There's no need to be nervous." His voice...oh his voice.
So deep and calm, you barely managed to hide your blush as you nodded, secretly enjoying his touch...
FLASHBACK OVER

You took no heed to the tears rushing down your cheeks as a sad smile over took your face, a laugh escaping them as your fingers shakily attached the silencer to the top of your gun. It was no use. You couldn't get him out of your mind.
His stupid smile. His stupid voice. His stupid body. Everything about him was attractive to you. But he was too far gone with Enid to notice your longing gaze and sad eyes.
FLASHBACK
"H-Hey Carl, wanna hang out today?" You nervously shifted on your feet. "Uh...Sorry Y/n, I'm going over the wall with Enid today."
"But you did that yesterday." You tilted your head to the side cutely, hoping to change his mind. "Uh yeah I-I know I just..." he never gave you a full answer.
FLASHBACK OVER

The tears were steaming now. Your hands were basically spazzing out, making it hard for you to hold the gun in your hand. On the desk, pen and paper. Might as well leave the group a note right? You shakily push yourself up on your feet, taking slow steps to the desk.
Dear, everyone, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't handle it. I took the easy way out. I'm sorry. This isn't anyone's fault but mine, I should have stayed quiet. I never should have told him anything...I can't do this anymore. I have nothing. No family, no friends, I'll be seeing my family really soon though...that's good...isn't it? Anyway, it doesn't matter now. We all die at some point, so what's the use of living?
Your shaky handwriting should be legible enough. Your eyes watched the gun in your hands, would you have enough strength to pull the trigger? Your shaky hands moved the gun to your head. You squeezed your eyes shut, your cheeks sticky with tears. No one would find your body until someone came to check the bullets in the morning.
This was it. You were actually going through with this. You squeezed the letter tightly, whimpering as the bright blue eyed male crossed your mind one last time, before you squeezed the trigger...

A/n: part three or should i do a happy ending alternative?