The Call

Chapter 2

   I woke to the sound of Ben's voice, I rolled over searching for him, for his warmth. But nothing was there it was still cold on his side of the bed. Then like a bucket of cold water had been poured over my head it all came rushing back in. He wasn't here and wouldn't be again.

But his voice, where is that coming from. I stand and push my right ear out to the room searching for the sound, then it stops. Just to start up again, "wake up sleepyhead, the world is turning without you" Ben coo's to me. Tears spring to my eyes, my alarm, my stupid iPhone alarm.

How could I have forgotten that Ben set it up as a joke three weeks ago when I had woken up late and missed my 8am class. We had joked what a bad idea it was to sign up for an 8am class. But I had won that debate after I reminded him it was the only time that intro to Japanese was being offered that didn't have a wait list. He had snatched my phone out of my hands and said he would make me a custom alarm to help motivate me out of bed and onto class.

Shaking myself out of the memory I locate my phone half under the bed, battery on 50%. I had finally passed out after tracing my fingers over ever detail of the last picture I took of Ben it had been about two months ago. He had looked so carefree that day, dressed down in a old worn sweatshirt and his lucky beanie on his head. It was a far departure from what he wore to the office during the week, crisp suits of navy, sometimes dark gray.

We had been traveling to the city to see one of his college friends art work on display at a new gallery/coffeehouse. It had been such a fun day, we laughed and people watched making up background stories to all the people rushing by. He even surprised me with a painting his friend did that he caught me admiring. It was a nature scene all greens and browns of a thick Forrest. It had reminded me of the good times I had in the Tree's when growing up in Illinois and later when my family had moved to Charleston.

Walking to the picture hanging across from my side of the bed I am staring at the trees trying to draw strength from them, just help me get through today, I am begging, almost pleading with my mind for the painting to help me. That's when I notice something in the pattern of the bark, a heart. I can't believe I have never noticed that before, had Ben known it was there? Did he see the hidden heart in the smooth lines of the bark. I will never know, I can't ask him now.

I wipe my tears and move to change clothes. I have an appointment at the hospital, I need to pick up the paperwork and gather Ben's personal belongings. I need to email my professor's and contact the school's administration office to let them know I will not be attending school for the foreseeable future.

Walking into the hospital I search my pockets for the scrap of paper I wrote the name of the person I was to ask for and what floor to go too. Stepping off the elevator I swivel my head down the hallway while trying to read my smudged and crumpled writing, "turn right from elevator" I mumble under my breath. It reads "reception ask for Roberts, hmm or maybe Roberta." I take a chance clear my throat and with a wobbly smile ask "is there a Roberta here? I was told to come and ask for her, she has my fiancé's things. His name is Ben Jordan, I mean his name was Benjamin Jordan." I choke out on a barely contained sob. This gains the attention of two people sitting in the corner, I hadn't noticed them when I walked in. They shift in their seats glancing at each other with loaded looks, as if warning each other to take cover before they are washed away with the tsunami of my impending breakdown. Dear God, this is Sang please help me keep it together a few more minutes or until Roberta gets here. I can do this, I bite my lip trying to distract my tears with pain. It works momentarily until the receptionist looks at me with a gasp then a sad broken smile. "Of course Miss, Dr. Roberts with be with you in just a moment, he wasn't expecting you till 10. Or he would have been here waiting for you personally." I just bob my head in a jerk of acknowledgement, trying to keep the tidal wave of grief from dragging me under. Spinning on my heel I take the closest seat I can landing with a thud on my butt. I made it through the first part of this, I can keep it together for another hour. Taking a deep shuddering breath wrapping my arms around my middle. Gripping the soft material of Ben's shirt I rub it between my fingers like a talisman while staring at the floor.

A throat clears in front of me, way to close to not be directed at me. I move my gaze an inch to the left and meet a pair of white vans, I follow the line of dark denim crouched in front of me till I met the sad chocolate gaze of a blonde haired man. "Excuse me, you dropped this", he whispers to me.

In the process of my graceful drop to the chair I lost my hold on the piece of paper that held Roberta's, I mean Dr Roberts
information on it. I extended my hand and plucked the paper from his palm.