No Control | The Night Before

13~ Miss You

I woke up on Sunday morning with a mild headache and a feeling of emptiness that for some reason I was unable to shake. The night before played over and over again in my head, while I contemplated what might have happened if I had accepted Harry's invitation. Was Callie right - had he been flirting with me? If it had been any other random guy in a bar I would have said yes, but his superstar status made me doubt myself. That, and the fact that I had been seeing one of his close friends. I was fairly certain that if one member of One Direction dated someone, said someone would be automatically off limits to any other members of the band indefinitely.

Louis had flitted in and out of my dreams all night, and aside from wondering where he was and what he might be doing, I also wondered what the future could possibly hold for us if we were to see each other again. I couldn't deny that I had been stupidly in love with Harry since I saw One Direction live in 2013 with my little sister Maddie. But I also couldn't ignore the incredible chemistry between me and Louis, and every time I thought about him my stomach somersaulted and I felt instantly hot all over. Was I a fool for throwing all that away? I was afraid of being taken for a ride, but Louis had seemed genuinely into me, and disappointed at my decision to let him go. It was all very confusing.

Things got even more annoying when I realised my phone was missing. After turning my flat upside down, I concluded that the last place I'd had it was at the bar last night when I was ordering Harry's drink, and I couldn't remember bringing it back to the table. I called the Rose Garden from my landline, and to my relief my phone had been handed in and was safe and sound. I wasn't about to traipse all the way across London to fetch it, so I asked them to keep it until the following weekend for me. 

Sarah listened in awe on Monday morning at my recount of Saturday night, and her jaw practically hit the floor when I told her I'd declined an invitation to spend the evening with Harry Styles.

"What kind of fan are you?" she gasped.

"I don't know," I sighed, twiddling my One Direction pink glitter gel pen between my fingers. "It would have felt weird, as I don't really know Harry. And I think I've made a mistake letting Louis slip through my fingers. I don't need any more complications."

"Why don't you text Louis?" Sarah asked.

"I left my phone at the Rose Garden," I said miserably. "In a way, it's probably a good thing that I can't do anything rash. Knowing how uncool I can be, I probably would have messaged Louis some stupid embarrassing text by now and put him off for good. Instead, I've got the rest of the week to make up my mind what to do."

"I think you should go for it," Sarah said immediately. "Grab it with both hands. There is a time and a place for playing it safe, and now is not it."

"Hmm," I replied, noncommitally, but I couldn't help feeling that she was right.

Louis wasn't far from my thoughts for most of the week, and on Saturday morning I pulled on a pair of jeans, a sleeveless top and my biker jacket, and headed back to the Rose Garden to collect my phone. When I got home I plugged it in to charge in the kitchen and switched it on, and then starting making myself a cup of tea. After the initial startup tone, it pinged incessantly for about thirty seconds with numerous missed calls and texts. When it finally fell silent, I sat down at the kitchen table with my brew, and picked it up. I had several voicemails, and as I opened my text message inbox I could see I had a few texts from Louis, which made my heart flutter before I'd even opened them.

Hey, how are you? Just letting you know I made it to LA. Thanks for an amazing few weeks xxx

Hey, just tried to call you but your phone's off. Can you call me when you get this? xx