No Control | The Night Before

Perfect

EPILOGUE

September 2023

I woke with a start, to sunlight streaming through the curtains and the sound of birds chirping outside the window.

I had been in the middle of a very strange dream where I was a backing dancer for One Direction on their very first tour, and had an extremely inappropriate crush on a sixteen-year-old Harry Styles. I closed my eyes again, trying to shake off the remnants of my subconscious, and the embarrassment of dancing in a purple spandex leotard to What Makes You Beautiful.

I hadn't thought about One Direction in a while, yet the dream had been so vivid it felt like only a couple of weeks ago that I had been in the O2 Arena, watching them perform on their final stretch of the OTRA tour in September 2015, a few months after my relationship with Louis had come to a halt.

I rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. 7.45am.

FUCK.

I leaped out of bed and flung the bedroom door open.

"Millie! Zac!" I yelled. "Get up, you're going to be late for school!"

I banged on their doors as I ran down the hallway to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the airing cupboard as I passed.

"Come on!" I shouted. "I don't want to have to tell your dad we were late!"

I was in and out of the shower in two minutes, and once my feet were dry I ran back along the hallway and stuck my head into Zac's room. He was sitting on his bed in just a pair of Scooby Doo boxers, playing with a Lego Batman.

"Come on, get your uniform on!" I cajoled. "It's on the end of your bed. Breakfast will be on the table in five minutes and we need to leave in fifteen! Chop chop!"

I ducked into Millie's room next door where she was already in her school dress and cardigan, and she looked up at me thoughtfully as I smiled at her. "I'd like my hair in two plaits today please," she announced.

"I'll do it while you're eating your breakfast," I promised.

"Do you want me to hurry Zac along?" she asked.

"If you don't mind," I replied gratefully, and I hurried back to my bedroom where I threw the wet towel on the bed and began pulling on a pair of jeans and a lightweight top. I ran a brush quickly through my hair, fluffed it with my fingers to encourage the waves to bounce, and then clattered down the stairs to the kitchen.

I poured cereal into the twins' bowls, and while they argued about who was going to sit in the front of the car on the way to school and dropped Cheerios all over the kitchen table, I plaited Millie's hair, made myself a cup of tea in a travel mug, put a bit of makeup on and then took a few moments to stare out of the window into the morning sunlight.

Miraculously, by 8.15 we were ready to leave, and I ushered the kids out of the front door to the car, my arms laden with book-bags, water bottles, PE kits and general school paraphernalia.

As we pulled out of the driveway my phone rang.

"Morning Sarah," I greeted her as the call connected through the car's audio system. "Funnily enough I was just thinking about you, and our One Direction fangirl days."

"Ahhh, those were the best times!" she sighed dreamily. "Remember when Gary used to mock us in the office for being in love with Harry Styles, but he secretly had the biggest man-crush on him of all!"

"I did not!" came Gary's voice from in the background, and Sarah and I squealed with laughter.

"Just kidding, babe," Sarah said, away from the phone. "Not," she added into the mouthpiece, and we cackled again.