What you don't know about me

17. Deeper

They say my happiness is infectious.
They say my confidence is envied.
They say my social nature is amazing.
They say my personality is that of a flawless extrovert.

... But these traits they are not mine...

These traits belong to her not me.
Now let me elaborate on what I mean.

I already told you that I wear a mask but I didn't tell you how deep it really goes. For she isn't just a mask, but a character in which I am enclosed.

I created Her so the world wouldn't see. So they couldn't see the raw emotions of the real me. The me that hides behind a mask of confidence to protect herself. Because that me is the girl who put up walls and put on armor as a shield against everyone else.

That me is the girl who understands what it is like to feel unwanted and miniscule. Like you are only good enough if you keep your mouth shut and agree obediently, because apparently that's the only rule.

So when I hear these compliments I accept them as Her. I know it sounds crazy, but all I know is that I hear a voice telling me over and over, "You're still not good enough, even though you have already killed the girl that you once were."