Now you're back

chapter 4; liar liar

I'm already at my apartment, my bag and coat on the floor with me laying next to them.

I shouldn't of drank so much in the past few days, I get myself to stand up and walk over to the kitchen in a sluggish manor.

I drink some water, standing over the counter and staring at the cup I drank from. I was thinking about what happened. My mind couldn't switch off, I kept thinking about it.

He was beautiful

His eyes

His hair

His face

Yet I was so used to all those features. His voice wasn't a strangers voice to me, and neither was Matts.

I need a cigarette.

I scoop up my bag from the floor and take the lighter and the cigarettes. I step outside and light it, and take a puff. My body stops shaking, I look up at the stars not taking my eyes off them.

I put my cigarette in the ash tray, and go inside.

Alex

For fuck sake.

I curl up into a ball right outside the bathroom, I'm crying again. My memories start to flood back, and my mind goes back to a reason, the reason why I'm crying. I go through it over and over again, taunting my head in the harshest way possible.

He left cause of his job, he promised we'll stay in touch.

He never picked up.

He promised me things that never happened.

I'm not upset because he left

I'm not upset because he didn't get me a job

It's the fact that I really loved him

It's the fact that I ceased to exist to him

It's the fact that he forgot about me, as if our time together meant nothing

But there's no point crying over spilt milk.

I sort myself out and go into the bathroom and turn the tap on. The coldest it can go. I wash my face and pat it dry.

I take off my clothes and lay in bed. I start to doze off into my sleep, until a sudden gust of wind brush's past my legs.

I get up and close off the door to the balcony. I jump back in bed, shivering. Laying my head on the pillow and falling asleep.