letters to him

letter #3

Hey Yoongi,
      Hey its me again. I had the chance to see you today at your fanmeet. Since it was a free for all I planned on going, however my dad came home and beat me for no reason. No surprise there really. I got a job today at a local coffee house. Its on the corner of ************ and *************. Its not far from Bighit actually. You and the guys could come get coffee or food on the way to work. I work when they call me in so I dont know my schedule. I like writing these letters, its like my fantasy away from reality. A fantasy with you. Thats how I know its a fantasy, because your there with me. I have a secret for you. I cut. I cut my arms, my thighs and sometimes my stomach. Its not something I'm proud of, but it takes away most of the pain. I sometimes look at the picture of my mom and talk to her but i know she cant reply. What do I do Yoongi? Im so scared of reality, but I'm also scared to leave my fantasy because then there is no Yoongi to save me in this reality of mine. What do I do when I know that no one wants me. Do I die or do I ignore and move on? Which one is easier to do? I will write you again tomorrow for now I must go.
                 -SCR