anacampserote » m.c au

one

Four years later

I jogged along the sidewalk, occasionally wiping sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. I smiled as I sniffed the cosy scent of lighted cinnamon candles and freshly cut grass. It was spring – undeniably my favourite part of the year - again, which meant that I probably wouldn’t be excessively sad for the next three months or so. It finally meant that my parents would be home for the first time this year because they had been away for an extensively long business trip. It meant that my older brother, Kael, and I were finally able to have a proper dinner with our parents again.

But as I passed a familiar house down my street, my smile slightly faltered. It meant that this would be the third spring that Michael Clifford, my ex-boyfriend (or to some people, still my boyfriend because we never properly spoke about it.) would be missing. It was a shame, really. He loved spring as much as I did, if not more.

I didn’t realize that I had stopped running until I felt someone tap my shoulder. With heavy pants, I turned around.

“Mrs Clifford… I mean, Ms McAuliffe,” I paused, attempting to steady my breaths before continuing, “I-I didn’t mean to be here, I mean- I was just-“

“It’s okay, Kalina,” she gave me a warm smile, much to my surprise. The last time we met was a few weeks ago and to put it simply, it didn’t go well. As soon as we locked eyes, she glared at me and turned away. It was a huge change when you compare it to how we were just three years ago. Being Michael’s mum and my mum’s best friend, she went from speaking to me in baby language to formality in my pre-teen years and first-name basis later in my adolescence. After the things that happened, however, we went back to extreme formality.

“Would you like to come in, Kalina?”

Like I said. Three years ago, she would have linked arms with me and dragged me into the house.

Still completely perplexed, I mumbled, “Sure.”

As I entered the house, I realized that almost everything was still placed where they were the last time I came. Frames on the wall and on the jet black grand piano in the hall, the meticulously designed wallpaper adorning every corner of the room and most importantly, the ever pristine-looking couch that was against the wall. Not just any couch, but the couch.

The couch was the one Michael and I started jumping on the moment it was put in place when we were about three years old. The couch was the one we sat on when Mrs Clifford scolded us for breaking one of its legs due to our hype. The couch was the one Michael and I used to cuddle on all the time, with blankets covering every inch of our toes and fingers. The couch was also the one we had our first kiss on – we were young and mindless of the idea of crushes but went in for the kiss anyway. And that kiss triggered everything. From make outs to fights, to the first night we spent with each other. Three years ago, my heart would have clenched at every memory that replayed in my mind. Now, however, all that was left was just bittersweet.

“Kal?” she said warily.

“Sorry, I was just,” I paused, “thinking.”

She nodded in understanding, though her eyes were distant. “About Michael?”

“About Michael,” I confirmed.

“But you’ve a boyfriend now, don’t you? Calum?”

“Y-yeah. How did you hear?”

She simply shrugged in response. “Words spread pretty fast in this town. Sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes….”

To most, it would have seemed like a simple statement denoting how small ou town was – though it was true, words spread like wildfire here – but I knew it was about something else. Something both of us completely understood. Or thought to be understood, in Mrs Clifford’s case.

“Look, about me leaving three years ago, I’m sorry-“ then, she interrupted me.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Let’s start anew. No hard feelings, just me being your mum’s best friend and you being my son’s ex-best friend. Or girlfriend,” she pursed her lips into a thin line, “Moreover, if there was anyone you should apologise to, it’s my son.”

This time, I was wary. She had refused to acknowledge my existence for the past three years, what changed?

“How’s Michael?”

An awkward pause settled over the atmosphere in the house and I silently wished for the ground to swallow me. Literally. Because it would be better than just sitting here with your ex-boyfriend’s mum staring you up and down.

“Michael’s still… Michael. Anyway, this isn’t about him. I wanted to tell you about my engagement party.”

So that’s what changed. After Michael slipped into a coma, her marriage with Mr Clifford dwindled. They got involved in more arguments in a day than they had in their whole marriage life and once it hit a tipping point, Mr Clifford just left. I couldn’t imagine how devastating it would be for Michael to wake up and find out his dad had walked out on him.

But then again, he wasn’t the only one who left.

"You’re engaged? Already?” I felt remorse the moment the words left my lips, “I mean, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I just thought…”

“I understand. We wanted to take things slow but, you know… Can’t help who you love,” she smiled, “It’ll be in a garden with extremely good food and wine, everything I’ve always wanted in a party and more. Remember when we used to plan your dream wedding?”

“Congratulations,” I nodded and smiled.

I wondered if she was inviting me in a way. Logically, why would you mention an engagement party and not invite the person you’re talking to? But still, I refrained from asking because it felt inappropriate. Another part of me wondered if Michael would have approved of his mother marrying another man when the divorce was never finalized. Would he have approved of his parents remarrying at all, even if there were a proper divorce?

As I walked out of her door later that day, I was grateful that I hadn’t blurted out the question. Because looking at the photos of Michael that she put on her piano, I felt a strange longing. I missed him. And frankly, I didn’t think I could – or would be strong enough to – get more involved in the life of someone who reminded me so much of him. I pray to god that I would never have to deal with him again because deep down, I knew that a small part of me hadn’t let him go and that there was a chance my feelings would re-emanate. And I wasn’t going to risk it, for the sake of my relationship with Calum.

-

hey amigos

new story iyiyiyi 

i know that things are probably confusing atm but they'll be explained in the next few chapters i promise

also this story takes place in sydney unless stated otherwise (because there are gonna be parts about them moving away for uni and stuff but ya i'll definitely state so)

dedicated to paige because i'm loving all her new stories they make me happy \(^^)/