polaroid » t.k

0.4. - no will left

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- 11th February -

With not much of an expression, only dried tears and swollen, red-tinted eyes making much of an appearance on his face, Jungkook read the sentence from the text sent from his boss repeatedly; trying to find a care, but ultimately failing.

Boss
Jungkook, I hope you understand that your absence has been unacceptable. We understand the trauma and grief you've been going through these past two weeks, but we can simply not accept this any further. Today you have your choice to attend or else you will be fired not to return.

Jungkook
I quit.

That was all that he sent as a response, not bothering to care about his job or future.
The likeliness of it all being a dream began to fade for Jungkook, slowly losing hope, believing less it all could be part of some prank or that he's stuck in an absurd nightmare.

Although nothing about losing his job affected him, his heart still laid weak and painful inside his chest, beating like its life depended on it, working hard to just get the man out of bed.

Therefore, he simply lied there, staring up at the ceiling with no motive other than hoping and wishing that Taehyung would return into his arms the upcoming morning. That he will be capable to feel his calm breaths hit his chest when cuddling, hold his hand in the cold late winter weather, gain the opportunity to have someone to protect. Having the need to feel his warm, soft lips on his own again, hear his honey-like giggles and see his wonderful, vanilla sweet smile. Feel his delicate, narrow body being held by him, feel the sensation of being a protection to the precious person he'd risk his life for. He just wanted to relive the past, make it the present, and the future.

My beloved Taehyung, it's been eleven days already.
I'm starting to doubt.
Doubt the possibility that this is just a terrible dream and I can't wake up.
Doubt if living remains as an option anymore.
I'm helpless.
All I do is cry and plead for you to come into my arms again.
But you don't.
Even though you used to, every time I asked for it.
So why?
I still don't believe this.
I think this is all a dream.
Don't try disappearing.
Please don't leave me.
Please.

Jungkook let the salty tears slide down his cheeks as he placed the diary and pen on the nightstand. A faint cough left his lungs, feeling like something was clawing at his heart, like a cat aggressively playing with a ball of yarn with its claws out intending to rip the yarn into pieces. He grasped at the cloth where his heart thumped oh-so-painfully. Teeth connected to his lip as he clamped his eyes down in pain, allowing the tears to fall as he let out whimpers of anguish.

Please Taehyung. Where are you?
Don't leave me like this.
It hurts just to breathe.
I don't want to anymore. I just don't.
Please come back before I do something stupid.
Please,
come back before I do what you decided was the only way out.

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