[TRIGGER WARNING] It's Nothing. || L.H [COMPLETED]

I Understand

Chapter Seven

Luke's P.O.V

I felt bad about yelling at the doctors earlier. I don't know what got into me... I was walking to the front desk to apologize. You like her. My mind whispered. What? No. I barely even know her, what the hell? I saw the doctor coming near me and all I could think was, you don't like her, you don't like her, you don't like her.

"Hey Uhm, sorry to bother you but," I scratched the back of my neck. "Im really sorry about earlier, I'm usually not like that..."

"Don't worry about it. I've seen worse." he patted my shoulder and walked away. I went back to Ella's room and peeked around the corner.

"Hey do you want-" I paused. "Oh hey guys." I walked in the room fully, greeting all the boys of One Direction.

"What were you saying Luke?" Ella asked me sweetly.

"Oh I was just wondering if you wanted something from the vending machine or the cafeteria or maybe I could run through a drive threw for you real quick?" I offered a little awkwardly now that the boys were here.

"Oh, no I'm fine. Thank you though." She smiled at me.

"Okay." I smiled back at her. "I'm gonna take a walk or something okay?" I stepped out of the room and walked quickly to the bathroom.

Why do I have to be such a fuck up? I'm pretty sure all the guys think I'm gay or something. Why can't I just be a douche like every other guy? I felt my heart rate increase as I came closer to the bathroom. I ran to a stall and fell to the floor. Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to suffer every day? I sobbed into my hands. You're crying over nothing. Shut the fuck up, no one cares. You're worthless. I told myself. I whipped my eyes and sat there for a while.

I finally stood up and unlocked the stall door. I carefully made sure I was alone before walking to the mirror to make sure it wasn't too noticeable that I had been crying. I slowly opened the bathroom door, again, making sure no one was near me. I walked out and circled around the floor Ella was on for a good fifteen minutes.

"Where the hell did Luke go?" I heard Zayn say. I looked around for somewhere to hide and found a small supply closet.

"I don't know. Oh well, they'll be home tomorrow." Harry said. I waited until their happy voices and footsteps faded away until I cautiously came from the supply closet. I walked slowly back to Ella's room.

Ella's P.O.V

Luke walked back into the hospital room, groggily. "Hey..." I said a little concerned. He looked at me and smiled but his smile quickly faded. He sat down in the chair not too far from my bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," He hesitated. "I'm uh. I'm fine." Is he... like me? No no, he couldn't be...

"Okay..." Well if he was I knew to just leave him be and let it pass.

Luke's P.O.V

In the morning I still didn't feel any better. "So can I skateboard still? She asked the doctor. Since when did she skate?

"You might want to take it easy for a few days. Just to be safe." He slightly laughed.

"Alright." She smiled at him.

"Well, that's all. You're free to go. Luke?" I looked up at him. "Could you meet me at the front desk and sign the release papers?" I nodded and Ella and I followed he doctor.

"Ella?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Heres the keys if you want to wait in the car." I smiled at her and handed her my car keys.

"Okay. Thanks Luke." She smiled and hugged me tight. I tried to draw strength from her grip and I smiled, wrapping my arms around her.

"I'm really glad you're safe." I admitted.

"I'm really glad you saved me." She let go of me and walked to the car. I went to the front desk and started signing papers. When I was done, I started to leave but the doctor stopped me.

"Luke," He looked at me with sad eyes. "Please take care of Ella. She's been in here before... She needs strength and love in her life and you and Miranda are the only ones willing to give it to her. She needs you. Stay strong, for Ella." I nodded and swallowed hard. I started toward the exit of the hospital. Was she like me? I felt a sense of déjà vu as the words rang in my head.

I stopped in the parking lot of Ella's apartment building. "Hey," She moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "Do you wanna come inside?" I smiled at her.

"Yeah sure." We got out of the car and started towards her apartment. I watched her walk in front of me. I noticed she didn't have her normal bracelets on. The doctors must of taken them off and she just forgot to put them back on. I saw a glance of something... so I looked closer. No. I didn't allow myself to believe what I saw. I couldn't.

We walked into her apartment. "I think Miranda's at her boyfriends house."

"So she can't date Ashton?" I joked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." We both laughed. She went to the kitchen and got a cup out of the cabinet with, the arm that wasn't in a sling, and I saw it again. I had to know...

Ella's P.O.V

Luke stepped closer to me. He reached for my arm and turned it over I then noticed I wasn't warring my normal bracelets. I pulled my arm away but it was too late, he saw them."Why?" He asked, his voice a whisper. I sighed. "Let's sit," I took his hand and led him to the couch. "This is a long story. So... ever since I was about three, I've been fat. I mean yeah I've lost a lot of weight but it wasn't in a good way... As I grew up people consistently told me. They called me fat, ugly, worthless. Then I would go home and get called all the same things, I couldn't get a break. My freshman year of high school was the worst. I began to lose friends and soon all I had was Miranda but then she moved out. I mean I don't blame her, our parents didn't tend to treat us very well. Just look at the meaning of my name. In Spanish Ella means she. They literally named me she. Sorry... anyway, I got bullied everyday and I didn't have anyone to talk to about it or blame so I blamed myself. I started this," I gestured to my arm. "I became anorexic, suicidal. Anything bad you can think of, I did. Hang on a second." I went to the bathroom and wet a wash rag. I came back and sat on the couch, wiping the rag across my neck to get the foundation off. "I got made fun of the most for this. They even called me selfish... Hayley was the one who saved me. She found me in the back of Game Stop. It was almost closing time and we were the only ones working so I thought I could get away with it... Thats when we became best friends. If you're wondering why the doctors didn't freak out when they took my bracelets off, its because of this." I pointed back to the scar along my neck. "They've already seen them." I looked up at Luke hesitantly, scared of what he would think of me now. "I'm sorry, I know you probably think I'm stupid and crazy but... I wasn't going to lie to you."

"I don't think you're crazy," he said softly.

"Why?" I asked surprised.

"Because... I know how it feels."

"Wha-" he started to take his bracelets off and I saw them. "Oh."

"Yeah..."

"Why did you do it?"

"Well... No one ever really liked me when I was in school. I was always the weird kid and no one wanted to get to know me. I was just really lonely. People made fun of the way I dressed, the fact that I could sing and play instruments, the music I listened to, the way I looked, anything mean they could say, they would. They used to beat me up so bad I couldn't get back up to walk home. That's when Ashton and I became friends. He stuck up for me and stopped them from hurting me. I should be happy now, I know but, depression just doesn't really go away. I still blame myself for everything that's happened to me." I just frowned. That's all I could do because... I understood. He grabbed my arm turning it and tracing my scars. "You don't have to do this anymore, I'm here now. I'll keep you safe."