The Genesis Illusion

Chapter 6

The slim figure of Donna Welch, Paul's long-time girlfriend, dodging workbenches and scientists captured Paul and Nara's attention, which were conferring in Paul's office. Flaying her arms to plow past anyone blocking her progress, it was clear she was there on a matter of some urgency.

Nara perched on the edge of the cushioned side-chair next to Paul's desk facing out through full-length glass walls into the open laboratory. The functional, yet sterile décor didn't match the palatial offices of most New York CEO's. In only five years, the pair established the Institute as the world's most respected research center. Still, they shunned the excesses of their contemporaries.

The gauntlet defeated, Donna red-faced approached the door to Paul's office. Nara recognized a look on her face he'd seen before and it wasn't joy. "Perhaps we should continue this another time?" Nara said, as he headed for the door. He greeted Donna in the doorway slinking away to hide in his office.

Paul's infrequent relationships with women were both awkward and brief. But Donna was the exception. She and Paul attended many special occasions together giving the impression they were a permanent couple. Donna even included Paul at holiday dinners with her family.

Entering Paul's office with determination, Donna's moist eyes revealed she'd been crying. Hunched slightly forward but standing in front of his desk she gathered herself before speaking. Happy to see her, but bothered by her appearance, Paul remained in his office chair. Then he remembered. Shit!

"Where were you?" Donna said, expecting a flimsy response. "You left me all alone. Everyone there had a partner except me. You know how important..." She slumped her shoulders and lowered her arms in resignation.

"I'm sorry," Paul said. "I was here working on this..."

"I know, I know, you're always working on this or that." She snapped at his usual excuse.

"I said, I was sorry. Quick think of something more. I'm, you know. I'm just preoccupied. Let's go inside. I'll fix a cup of tea." From Paul's time in Singapore he'd learned everything would be better with a cup of tea.

He got up to open the door behind his desk. His in-building apartment eliminated the need to commute and supported his frequent all-nighters. Beckoning her to follow, she strolled after him as if in a trance. The short hallway entrance provided little time for Paul think up a way to repair the damage. His miraculous mathematical problem solving skills were useless for this situation.

The hallway spilled into a modern living area with a full kitchen at the far end. High windows along one side let in sunlight and made the room feel larger. The high ceilings also expanded the space. Two long couches placed in an L faced a large screen television mounted on the wall.

Paul went directly to the kitchen to heat a pot of water for their tea. Donna, somewhat disoriented, remained standing near a couch. "We've been together for over two years and I don't know how many times you've done something like... I thought you cared about me?"

Paul turned from the kitchen walking toward her, "I do, I love you. It's just that I get involved in my work. I don't realize the time."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not important enough. Your work is more important than..."

"No, no it's not that at all. We've been through this before, I thought you understood."

Donna exhaled releasing her pent-up emotions taking a deep breath before saying, "It's just you. I love you. I have since the minute we met at the Columbia music recital."

Paul gazed at her realizing the enormity of the moment. He couldn't speak.

"I loved you then and I love you now, but I can't go on," Donna said. "I know you think you love me, and in your own way you do. But you're not really there. When you touch me you don't feel me. When we kiss, it's like you think you must. You don't have it in you to be what I need."

"But, I love you. I really do. We can work this out." Paul made a desperate plea.

Shaking her head facing slightly down to avoid eye contact Donna then raised her head gazing into his eyes. "It's like you're in love with the idea. But it's not possible for you to give yourself completely and that's what I need."

Paul realized she was right. His work consumed his mind to the point he couldn't fully engage with her or anyone. He couldn't be the person she needed.

They both sighed.

He caressed her shoulders.

She kissed him on the cheek and started to leave while sobbing softly into her hands.

"Nara will look after me. Don't worry." Emotions kidnapped Paul's ability to speak.

"I know he's a good friend."

Paralyzed, all he could manage was a shy smile.

She turned her head, to the side to hide her tears, her back facing him as she inched away.

He then stepped towards her, stopping just behind to touch her soft slender thigh.

"Be happy," Paul breathed, tearing uncontrollably.

"I, I have loved you. I did my best."

As tears formed in his eyes, he gazed at her. She faced him, smiling through her tears, as she lightly brushed a few strands of unkempt hair from his forehead.