Something Real [Nygmobblepot]

Chapter Six

"Sometimes you just gotta be your own hero and save your own little heart.
Because sometimes, the people you can't imagine living without, can actually live without you."

"I could've done that." Ed appears suddenly as I'm changing a light bulb, balancing on a chair and still barely reaching it.

I get so startled I gasp and almost fall off but he quickly reaches up to steady me, his hands on my hips which only startles me more at this point. "Please don't touch me, Ed." I snap ay him before I can stop myself and he seems a little confused but pulls his hands away quickly. "And maybe you should do this." I point out, gesturing at the lamp since he's so much taller there's a smaller risk of anything shattering on the ground.

"I will, just come down." He says, offering his hand but quickly lets it drop to his side and I feel a little bad as I get off the chair. "So, uh.. I talked to Isabella earlier." He tells me as he stands on the chair himself with one quick movement.

"Mm?" I mumble as I look up while he removes the old light bulb, handing it to me.

"She was talking about.. I mean she got this idea that we'd move in together." He says and I try to keep my face neutral as I hand him the new one and put the old one aside. I'm not too surprised but it doesn't feel great to be honest.

"Really? What did you think about it?" I ask curiously, looking up at him since he still hasn't made a move to put the new light bulb in place.

He shakes his head, looking down at it. "I mean I couldn't..." He says before reaching up to screw it in place.

Now I'm a little surprised. "Why?"

"Would you want me to move out?" He asks, glancing down at me quickly.

"I didn't say that, just that I kind of expected that to happen so I'm surprised you're not more prepared." I admit. "Why are you hesitating?"

"I'm not. I mean it's not-" He shrugs before making sure the lamp is correctly in place before stepping down from the chair. "I'm not saying I'm hesitating about her or our relationship, I just.. I don't know. I'm kind of used to living here."

I smile. "I'm kind of used to you living here too." I admit. "But perhaps we could all use a little change every now and then."

He smirks at me. "If I didn't know better I'd accuse you of trying to get rid of me. What? Have a new partner in mind already?"

I shake my head, momentarily frowning at the word partner. "No, of course not." I tell him. "You're the best roommate one could get." I add with a smile. It's not that I want you gone, it's just that no matter how hard I'm trying to accept and understand, it's difficult. It's just that I can't possibly pretend there's nothing there when you're always there, staring back at me, smiling back at me.

"But.. you think I should do it?" He asks and I sigh as I think. I said I was happy as long as he was. Well, at least I'm trying.

"I think you should do what you feel is best." I tell him. "I'll be fine if you decide to do it, so will she if you decide not to. There's plenty of time to move where you want so there's no hurry but if you feel like you could.. well, why on earth wouldn't you? Trust me, life doesn't slow down for even a second and before you know it, the moment passes."

He smiles, kind of a sad smile. "Thank you." He says then. "You're right."

"So.. what are you thinking?" I ask curiously as he walks past me to the light switch to test it and the new bulb seems to work just fine since I'm momentarily blinded for looking at it and blink it away as I turn to him.

"I don't know." He says, switching it off again and looking at me. "I guess I should do it then."

Something in me shatters just a bit. Apparently trying very hard to be supportive and hearing him make the decision are two very different things. "Well, then." I force a smile on my face. "I'll leave you to call her and tell her the good news in peace." I walk away, suddenly feeling a bit more hollow but knowing it's for the best. For everyone.