Twisted Fairytales: The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, in the hidden heart of France there lived a widowed woman with her three famished, ravenous sons. In their little cottage, hidden by the magnolia trees, they lived day to day. The eldest, Jacques, worked as a tanner's apprentice earning little in his way of life. The second eldest, Nicolas worked the land, his days embodied clawing at the infertile ground, to plant to seed of life that never sprouted, bringing despair to the family. The youngest, Alexandre, did not work as he was the wisest and the fairest of the all his brothers. Alexandre knew the work his brothers strained over would lead to a miserable life of horrid starvation. Therefore, Alexandre spent the days roaming around the parks creating acquaintances and charming aristocratic daughters with his bright blue eyes and his debonair smile that cause the faint-hearted to swoon. Soon Alexandre was considered a treasure in the higher society and was offered the hand of Lord Bernard's only daughter, who was still a stranger to the world.

As summer submitted to their cold mistress of winter, the family fell on hard times. Nicolas' harvest had failed this year leaving the family starving. The mother, unable to feed her sons, decided to send them out into France to seek their own fortunes. She told them they would each receive only one loaf of bread from her before they left for eternity. However, the family being peasants were unable to afford grain, so the three sons found what they could in replace of grains for flour. Nicolas, being learned in agriculture, brought acorns and tree bark to his mother and their mother baked a loaf of bread for Nicolas. Then sent him on his way. Jacques collected all that was available, which happened to be only tiles and bricks he had to steal from Monsieur Wolfe who was building a new parlour. Jacques trudged home; his mother made him his loaf of bread and she sent him on his way. Alexandre, drunk on his own good fortune, worried not about the future as he was marrying nobility therefore, he travelled to the devil's playground and drug up the bones of his forefathers to make into flour. He skipped back to the deary cottage, humming a merry tune. The mother took the bones, ground them in flour and baked Alexandre his loaf of bread before sending him on his way.

Jacques travelled to the land of his employer: a strong, burly man, who was as hard of stone. He looked upon Jacques with little sympathy but allowed him to live on his land in return for his loaf of bread and half a livre. Jacques was given a small corner of the land next the pigsty. Having no building material, Jacques found some straw used for the animals and using small pieces of string, he built himself a home, made of straw.

Nicolas travelled on foot for a fortnight, never once touching his loaf bread but eating grass instead. Until he reached a plot of unowned ground, next to the forest where demons and animals dance to the sounds of misfortune. Despite the dark woods, Nicolas rejoiced. He set work ploughing and seeding his land in hope of growing some grain. He then collected sticks from the edge of the forest, never daring to enter as he feared the gruesome growling from the mysterious depths. Using only mud, sticks and his bare hands, Nicolas made himself a home in which he lived.

Alexandre travelled further than his brothers but did not walk. Alexandre travelled on horseback, on a horse he bought with his loaf of breed. He proceeded to travel to Lord Bernard's stately home, where he was welcomed with open arms. In his palace, made of brick and marble, Alexandre donned the finest silks and ate the most exquisite cuisine. Alexandre lived in relative comfort.

His brothers did not.

Soon Monsieur Wolfe discovered that his bricks and tiles were missing. He was enraged. His quivering slaves recounted the tale of Jacque's sin while Monsieur Wolfe snarled and growled like a rabid animal before a kill. In his frenzied state, Monsieur Wolfe rode to Jacques' small, little straw-made home. Once Monsieur Wolfe had arrived at Jacques' home, he began to laugh. He found it fitting that a dastardly thief would find himself in the company of pigs. Wanting to humiliate Jacques further, Wolfe called to him.

"Little pig! Little pig! Let me in!"

Jacques was frozen in terror, he knew the punishment for theft was having his hands cut off. Gathering his courage, he feebly replied.

"Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!"

Glowering at the straw door, Monsieur Wolfe growled. He looked at the frail, home and decided he could easily destroy Jacques' home before punishing him. Wolfe barked a laugh and maliciously snarled.

"Then I'll huff – and I'll puff – and I'll blow your house down."

Wolfe rammed into the door of the straw house and down it went tumbling. Purring in satisfaction, he turned only to discover in shock that his little pig had escaped and was running down the road with his tail between his legs. Running to his brother's twig home.

In blind-rage Wolfe followed him.

Jacques reached Nicolas' home and was welcomed with open arms. As Jacques rested, Wolfe slunk up to the twig home, a cunning gleam in his black eyes. He chuckled to himself, two pigs would do better than one. He knocked on the door. The knocked echoed within the tiny hut, neither brother dared not to move.

"Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me in".

Jacques had already climbed out of the window when Nicolas whimpered.

"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!".

Wolfe, getting tired of the reoccurring event, repeated himself in pure malevolence.

"Then I'll huff – and I'll puff – and I'll blow your house down."

So, drawing in a deep breath, Wolfe removed his pistol and shot at the twig house demolishing it to nothing but rumble. However, Jacques and Nicolas were already gone: they had scrambled away faster than their hooves would carry them.

Wolfe howled in fury!

The brothers ran to their last brother's home. As the knocked on the dark oak door, they gazed around in awe at their brother's way of life. Alexandre opened the door, his faced horror struck. His grimy brother beamed at him.

"Alexandre dear brother. Monsieur Wolfe has attacked us, wanting to slaughter us like animals. Help us brother and allow us to find comfort in your home."

Alexandre, wanting to keep his social title, denied his brothers comfort in his home and slammed the door in their faces. Not before saying, "I am not your brother."

Jacques and Nicolas were enraged; their youngest brother had a humongous fortune and was too selfish to share with his brothers. The brothers wanted revenge for the torment they had gone through because of the cruel, animalistic nobility. In a devious set of events, they hatched a plan. The boys ran down to the little village of peasants and worked with the towns folk to build a guillotine.

When Wolfe slunk into the village, he was mumbling... "Little pigs. Little pigs. Come out, come out where ever you are." When Wolfe raised his eyes, there was the pig, Jacques, standing under the statue of Jesus with a smug smile adorning his face. Wolfe advanced towards him but before he could lay a finger on Jacques, he was tackled by the towns folk. In a quick set of events the towns folk placed Wolfe into the guillotine and sliced off his head.

The towns folk cheered and hunted down the nobility of France, slicing heads in revenge. When the towns folk was satisfied... the pigs, got their devilish brother and brought him to the guillotine...

And thus, it ended.