The Rendezvous // Thomas Sangster

The Burial

My eyes widen and I stumble backwards, "What?"

Thomas shakes his head, "It was an accident, I swear, I didn't mean to."

I frown, staring at him, "Thomas, what happened? What do you mean you killed someone?"

"I was at law school," Thomas starts quickly, "I was out with friends and I was the driver. They were drunk and I wasn't paying attention to the road or to the speed limit. My friend was just messing around, but he grabbed the steering wheel. I lost control of the car and I just...hit this guy." His voice is weighed down with emotion, "He was dead by the time we got out of the car to look at him. There weren't any witnesses...or so we thought. Until Anon contacted me."

"Anon contacted you?" I ask sharply, "He was there?"

"I don't know." Thomas shakes his head, "I don't know who it was that turned me in as a candidate. I just know that Anon had been told about me at school. I was one of the top law students in my class, and he wanted me on his team. He told me that he would keep my secret safe if I joined him. I was young and scared, and..." I notice tears shining in his eyes, "I hated myself, Stephanie. I still do. I was reckless one time, and it cost me my life. My freedom. I killed someone, and I had to choose between one prison or another. This prison just seemed like a better alternative."

"Thomas," I start, reaching for his hand, "That accident wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was, Stephanie. You weren't there, so you don't understand. I was the one behind the wheel. I was the responsible one there."

"Thomas," I try again. 

"No, Stephanie!" He says sharply, pulling his hand out of mine, "Don't try to make me think that I'm okay or that I didn't do anything wrong. My actions resulted in the death of an innocent person. It's not all right. I'm here because I deserve to be. There is no way for me to escape this."

"Thomas, listen to me." I say calmly, "You were not responsible for that accident. Your friend was a drunk idiot and grabbed the wheel, which is why that man was killed. Not because of your own lack of judgement. Trust me, I know about things like these. My brother is an FBI agent, he used to talk about stuff like this all the time when he came to visit my mom and I. We could tell him if you want, but we've got to tell someone."

Thomas stares at me, "Why is this so important to you? It's not just about me, or even your dog. What is this about Stephanie?"

I feel my face redden, "He killed my dog. It's personal now."

"No, that's not all." Thomas says, "There's something else; another reason why it's upsetting you. You wouldn't be this passionate about something unless it was really important to you."

I don't say anything. I simply cast my eyes to Thomas's impeccably clean floor, fully aware of his gaze on  me.  

"Stephanie." He says, his eyes are gentle as he places both hands on the sides of mine arms.

I sigh, looking up at him. His eyes search mine and I begin to feel my blue eyes fill with tears. I haven't ever talked to anyone about it. I haven't ever felt comfortable enough to tell anyone the story. Yet somehow, here, in Seal County with Thomas Sangster of all people, I feel safe. I trust Thomas, and I think he trusts me; although I've done very little to earn his trust. But he told me his secret. Perhaps I should tell him mine. 

 "My Mom." I say finally, "She was listed to receive a heart transplant from Clear Hearts. She died before they got her the transplant."

Thomas stares at me, without speaking, so I continue talking, feeling the weight of my secret lift from my shoulders as tears begin streaking down my face.