The White Assassin

Ch. 14 - I Wish

I stood up from where I was standing and looked at Pete. My eyes widened with shock, happiness and a bit of worry. All he did was nod his head and turned to walk out the door. I followed him and he led me to a hospital room. It was farther from the other rooms, almost like they were trying to isolate the person inside. As we got closer to the door I heard groans from the inside. Pete opened the door without any hesitation and walked in. "I brought her." He said in a monotone voice. I walked in to see Haron lying in a bed. He had stitches and wounds covering his entire chest and arms. His left leg was in the air due to it being broken. I felt a sense of sadness wash up inside of me and tears pricked the corners of my eyes. He had been hurt protecting Aang but why do I feel sad because of it. It's not like he was protecting me in any way, in fact I was the reason that he didn't get any more injuries. He could've suffered more casualties or even worse, death. I was standing in the doorway and stood still with no intention of moving. Him lying there was enough to make my blood run cold. Think of a cold glass of water and the condensation dripping down the sides. The blood pumping in my veins was the condensation.

"Hi Hale. I see you've awoken." Haron said to me with a chuckle. I felt an urge to scream and yell at him. Call him an idiot and how he shouldn't worry about anyone but himself. But that's the problem with me. I'm not strong. Sure physically but mentally? No way. I've always had a weak mind, no matter how hard I try to mask it I've never been good with these kinds of things. People joking about certain things and I take them literally showing that I really am not aware of my surroundings. Wanting to shout and scream at someone who has already suffered so much. Wondering why I'm the cause for everyones distress and suffrage. It wasn't because I wasn't strong, I knew I was. I had been training for years, I defied the laws by learning more then one element. I was the one person that people should look out for, but in my head I was a wreck. My thought process was a train and the path it followed had broken railroad tracks.

"Don't worry about me, Haron." I responded. I wish he wouldn't. I hated it when people worried for me, it made me seem like I wasn't all there. Like I was some nervous wreck just waiting to explode. Like I was a boat without a captain heading towards a hurricane's waves. As if I was the wings on a bird that had broken and couldn't support the bird anymore. The thing was there was no hiding it, I really was a wreck. There were so many thoughts in my head that my brain's files had flooded three times.

"I'm your childhood friend, it's what I'm supposed to do." He replied. He smiled at me and I couldn't take it anymore. I felt the tears pouring down and I ran out of the room. I heard cries of my name but that didn't make me stop. I kept running and running and eventually found myself back at my bedroom. I opened the doors and closed them, making sure that I locked them. I didn't want anyone coming in or out. I wanted alone time and I really needed it.

I was thinking about what Zuko said to me before I had fallen unconscious. "You talk a lot for someone who hides behind a mask." His voice echoed throughout my head. He was right, my identity wasn't Hale but the White Assassin. I was never me under that white fabric, I was someone else. The fact that I'm not me was pissing me off. When you're born, you are given your name, where your from, your nationalities and your characteristics. It's up to you to make yourself who you want to be and I haven't done that. I've hidden behind a white cloth like a table at dinner. I've been keeping my mouth covered so it wouldn't bleed out the uncontrollable words that I so desperately needed to hear and say. I was a coward. I was a strong hammer with no force behind the swing. A strong wind with no direction. I was never under control, I always thought I was but I never knew that I was really a mess. A mess no one wanted to clean up. How I wish I never came home. How I wish I never was born. How I wish that everything was perfect and I had no worries in the world. However that will never happen, it will never be possible. Wishes don't come true, they're bargains with fate to see if one could actually get what they wanted.

As I'm thinking to myself I hear the palace alarm sound off. I look up and see bright flashes of red filling my room and the door slammed open. Standing there is Ozai; the fire lord. Behind him is his son Zuko and their army. I gasped and before I could react I was shot from my bedside to the courtyard. I was blasted by Ozai through a canvas door and into the middle of the palace. I began to cough and looked down at my stomach to see smoke emanating from where my last burn was. I felt a sting in the pit of my stomach and I groaned. I had difficulty actually moving from where I was and just laid there, hoping no one would actually see me. Low and behold when I looked up I saw Aang with the others looking at me worried. They began to scream but I couldn't hear them. The sound of my blood pumping through my ears was all I could hear. I tried to sit up but my efforts were stopped when I was hit dead on by a lightning attack from Zuko. While I was down they must've jumped from my bedroom to the courtyard. My body slammed into a tree and I screamed in pain. This time I gave up. I laid there motionless but I wasn't unconscious. "Like I said," a familiar voice started. "You're just hiding behind a mask. Without it, you're just a runaway princess with no hope of ever becoming anything bigger." From his continuation I knew that Zuko was the one speaking to me. I clenched my fists in anger and tried to earth bend at him but the ground wouldn't listen to me. I tried to get up but I had no strength to do so. When I looked over at the others they were being blocked off by the earth kingdom soldiers. I felt a sense of happiness fill in me when I saw that the others weren't getting hurt. As long as Aang, my parents, and friends were alright, I was the happiest person alive. No one would be able to take that away from me, not that feeling.

I felt two icy hands pick me up and hoist me over their soldiers. When I looked down I saw that the person was wearing a fire nation soldier's gear. They turned away from my friends and family with me in their hands. "Good job men, let's go." A deep musky voice said. I could only assume that voice was Ozai and that was when I knew that I had been captured by the fire nation. There was no way for me to stop it. I was powerless, wounded and recovering from past injuries. I was in no state to battle anyone, no matter how strong or how clever they might've been. There was nothing I could do except yell at myself for not being able to stop them. For having my friends watch me get taken off and not allow them to do anything about it. For being an awful childhood friend and abandoning my two dearest friends right as I get back from running away. The only thought that went through my mind at the time was the reason for my defeat.

I wish I was stronger.