Chapter 1: Thomas

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17 July 1810

Elizabeth POV

"She is my breath, the air that I breathe

The light that illuminates my night

She is my sorrow and my joy

And when she leaves me, she should take all of my might

I am no longer a man just a slave of her light

She illuminates the night

Venus, Aphrodite, and Helen would fall just at her sight

My beloved, my beloved where would I be without you

A lost soul, no longer man nor human

And when you leave me, you shall be my downfall"

Thomas finishes reciting his most recent poems to me. I open my closed eyes and staring at the sky. Taking my hand I hover them over my eyes as I try my best to look towards the light in the sky, observing the birds that fly so carelessly.  If I could fly would I be so careless? 

I turn to see Thomas, who is sitting beside me as we lay on the warm summer grass. His green eyes bore into my brown eyes, expectantly. I watch as he closes his leather notebook, setting it besides us. He props his head on his hand and smiles at me. A smile that can make anyone melt. 

"Did you like it?" He asks nervously. He always knows that I find his poems beautiful yet, he always asks. I think he's waiting till the day I change my mind.

"It was beautiful but so sad." His green eyes go wide.

"Sad? Why do you say so?" He smiles warmly at me as he pushes a strand of my unruly brown hair behind my ear. It never stays out of my face.

"Because like any other women, I rather not be claimed by a man. You say she is your beloved but, to me, it sounds like an unhealthy obsession. A man's favor for a woman does not make her his. We are all in our own free will." I say with my eyebrow raised at him challenging him to correct me or try to change my mind.

"On the contrary, any man who sets his eyes on you should surrender themselves heart and soul. We are only beast in the presence of pure beauty." Not a challenge but, sweet just like him.

"Thomas, I am sure that it is only you who thinks that way about me." I roll my eyes, as I sit up.

Thomas is the only man who has ever looked at me. Taking into consideration, I don't know many men. I had the pleasure of meeting Thomas one afternoon as I decided to take a shortcut towards the market and tripped over a rock. Luckily for me, no one was there to see me make a fool of myself. But, Thomas heard my loud yelp and came to my rescue. Since that day, he has always come to the garden behind my house to read his poetry to me.

"I know true beauty when I see it."

"I am an unattained woman, Thomas. I belong to no one."

"You shall always have my heart, will I have yours?"

Right before I respond to him, I hear my name.

"Elizabeth!!!" I hear my mother scream from the house.

My eyes go wide with panic as I look at Thomas. If my mother finds him here she will have an absolute fit. My mother does not know of him, she must not know. Her ideal of my perfect suitor is the complete opposite of Thomas. Let's just say we don't see eye to eye.

While I find Thomas favorable, she would only see his societal standing. Much of my mothers despair we are not wealthy, just well off. Thomas is just a poet. I am certain that the moment she finds out about Thomas, she would send me away. For now, Thomas being a secret seems like the best idea.

"You have to go," I say hurrying him to leave.

He sheepishly nods at me, helping me to stand and brushing off the dirt from my hair.

As he walks away I wave him goodbye. However, he has other thoughts when he runs back to me and picks me up, twirling me with him as he kisses me softly on the lips.

"I promise to see you soon." He says with a wide smile, our escapades in the garden behind my house have become our favorite pastime. I must find a way for us to be together.

"I promise too," I respond with a laugh as he sets me down.

I grab onto my dress and begin running towards the large house, looking back at Thomas.

Mother is in the kitchen with Abigail, our housekeeper, supervising supper.

"Darling, I have been calling you all over the house, where have you been?" She asks

"I just went for a short walk," I respond quickly avoiding her gaze. 

She looks at me doubtfully. I think she's beginning to suspect something; I must speak to Thomas soon and let him know that we must meet somewhere further away from the house. The short distance from the garden to the house gave me the liberty to run home quickly. But my mother is no foul. She seems suspicious and that is the last thing I want. 

"I see that supper is almost ready" I divert the conversation. Lifting up the lid from the pot I see that they have decided to make a stew. Putting my face near the hot steam. "This smells delicious Abigail! When will you tell me what you put in your stews?" I close the lid.

"Ms. Elizabeth that is a secret. But when you are wed I shall tell you." She winks at me as she stirs the pot with a wooden spoon vigorously.  

"What if I don't?" I tease her. 

"That's preposterous girl" She swats me with the towel in her hand making me giggle. 

Abigail like most woman, believe that our goal in life is to marry a man. And as soon as we marry him, we must be at his disposal. What woman in her right mind would want that? While I do care deeply for Thomas, marriage is the last thing I think about. 

I grab an apple from the table and sit down as I watch Abigal and my mother. My mother turns to stare at me but says nothing. I should be more careful, less obvious. 


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