Beyond Perfection

21

Umalis na ako sa stage at umupo sa open na place dito sa school. Ayaw ko munang umuwi makikita ko lang ang dalawa.

"Hoy," sabi ni River at umupo sa tabi ko. "Ba't nandito ka pa?"

"Ayaw ko pang umuwi," sagot ko.

"Meron namang nangyari?"

I nod.

"Hay, ok lang 'yan Kee," he smiled at me. Ang gwapo talaga niya pero hindi rin umaalis sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Jas.

"Riv."

"Oh?"

"Meron ka bang ginawa?"

"Ano? Kanina?" he asked, confused.

"No, meron ka bang ginawa sa 'kin na hindi ko alam," I said. I just want to clear my mind. No please No

Tinignan lang niya ako at tumingin sa malayo. "Ba't mo naman na tanong 'yan?"

I was about to talk but, "Oo nga River, meron ba?"

Tinignan namin 'yung nag salita.

"Ano? Sige na River," sabi ni Brad, giving River a stern look.

River looked at the ground. "Riv, meron ba?" tinignan ko si river

"Oo keeshia oo," sabi niya sabay tingin sa taas.

"A-ano?" I asked my voice shattering.

He looked at me. "'wag muna ngayon please," sabi niya at tumayo. But I grabbed his arm.

"River, sagutin mo ako."

"Kee, please."

"No! Ok?! I'm done living with lies! Pagod na ako River!"

He looked at me straight in my teary eyes. "I used you."

No no no. I felt a tear left my eye.

"W-What d-do you mean?" I asked as he held my cheek but I took his hand off.

He looked at the ground again. "Ano bang ibig sabihin mo River James?!"

He looked back at me, "I used you, okay? I used you for revenge kang Brad. He was dating Ylis and I knew he had a crush on you kaya ginamit kita!"

And X marks the spot. Ang sakit. Ayoko na.

He stepped closer to me but I stepped back. "Keeshia"

I shook my head at kinuha 'yung bag ko. But before ako naka alis, "Ano? masaya ba talagang gamitin ako? Is it fun to make fun of me?" I weakly smiled. Then went off tears streaming down my face. Ang sakit na talaga.

--

I paid the taxi driver at pumasok na sa bahay. Who knew a lot of things can happen in just a day?

"Nanny!" sigaw ko pagpasok ko sa bahay. Wlang sagot..

"Nan! Nandito na ako!" sigaw ko at pumunta sa kwarto niya.

Wala siya dito.

"Nak."

"Nan! goodness akala ko naman-" I turned around and Unfortunately hindi si Nan, si Dad.

"Ansan si Nanny??"

"Nak, wala na siya," sabi niya. "Ipinaalis ko na."

"Ano?! No! You're lying!"

"Nak."

"Nan!" sigaw ko at pumunta sa kusina. Nandito siya, nandito siya. I need her. Siya na lang ang na iwan sa akin. "Nanny!" hinawakan ako ni daddy.

"Nak, wala na nga ang Nanny mo-"

"After what she did to me, why would you still expect her to be here?" sabi ni Star leaning sa wall with her arms crossed. Pota itong babae na 'to!

"Bakit?? Ano bang ginawa niya sa 'yo??" I let go of dad's grip. "Calling you a kabet? huh? Is that it? Aba! Ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo! E kabet ka nga diba?!"

"Mikael, don't talk to your tita like that," sabi ni daddy.

"E ano ba talaga siya? Diba kabet lang?"

"Pina alis ko na ang Nanny mo dahil matanda ka na. And for your information, this is for your own good," sabi niya.

"For my own good na naman? Ha?! Yang ginagawa mo hindi para sa akin! Para yan kang star! Itong kabet mo ang inuuna mo kaysa sa sarili mong anak!" that earned a slap from dad.

"Nak," sabi ni dad but I ran off to my room and locked it. Kahit pa bang nanny ko??

I knocked everything out. All the picture frames my lamp, my dresser, 'yung mga art and crafts ko, kahit na ang mirror ko binato ko. I looked at myself in the broken mirror. After everything I had done. I was living a life full of lies. Kahit gaano ako ka bait sa iba, they repay me with sht. I cried and cried wishing Nanny was here.

I leaned beside my door and slowly sat on the floor banging my head on the wall. Ang sakit na talaga, physically, emotionally. I looked at my hands dumudugo na pala. Life is fckin me right now. Minsan naiisip ko maraming iiyak pag mamatay ako, pero ngayon? parang kahit isang tao wala.

*thug thug*

"Kee?! Cookie Monster?!"

Ayaw ko munang mag salita. My vision went blur.

*THUG*

"Cookie Monster?!"

Lumuhod si Brad sa harap ko at kinuha 'yung kamay ko at hinawak 'yung ulo ko.

"We're taking you to the hospital Keeshia. Everything's gonna be ok, I promise." I gave him the weakest smile then everything went black.