How To Handle The Blind

Chapter 4: Befriending Your Neighborhood Blind

 By this chapter, you have learned to approach and assist the blind. Should you manage to get past the blindness, you may find yourself, to the world's consternation, wanting to befriend one. Rather than an anecdote, we will hear tips direct from our subject.

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Over the years, many of my friends, and even one of my sisters have told me "I forget your blind sometimes." And that's one of the highest compliments someone can give me. It means that, as we hang out, you aren't wondering if saying visual phrases like "do you see what I mean?" will offend me. Just as Lefties learn to live in a world made for righties, so too do the blind in this world built for the sighted. But whether our friendship began with me butting into a conversation about a TV show or band as I pass you by in the hall, or because we were thrown together as kids so that our dating older siblings could hang out, the thing I value most is candor. Ask your question instead of awkwardly skirting around it. This isn't to say that I don't expect some initial awkwardnesses, as with most relationships, as we get to know each other. But, as the saying goes, treat me as you'd want to be treated.

Since I cannot speak for all of my fellow blind and visually impaired peers, I can only give you pointers that apply to me. Luckily for you, most if not all of the below listed can be used for all of us:

Be yourself. Beyond my eyeballs (which, I know can be jarring to look at: blue with a film over them from corneal scarring, and the fact that they move in a condition called nystagmus), there's nothing else "wrong" with me. Well, I can be a little awkward, but I like to think that that's a part of my charm. Just be yourself, and if that happens to be awkward too, great. But don't go from tossing the N word around with your friends, to talking to me softly. No matter your condition, you can often tell when someone's not being themselves.

• In the beginning stages of our friendship, I'll probably need you to tell me who you are when you see me around. Yes, some people have distinct voices, and if we're particularly close, I'll recognize you. But the people I talk to least often, are often the ones who expect me to know who they are immediately. And while occasionally I'll ask, they're usually so excited to see me that I don't want to burst their bubble by letting them know that I have no idea who they are. Besides, is it really that hard to say "Hey Lily, it's (blank)"?

•You can laugh at the blind joke. You should be a little cautious about making them yourself initially, because you may just put us in an uncomfortable and very unfunny position. But I promise you'll get the hang of it.

It may take you a little while to remember all of that. And you may find yourself stumbling into rules that I didn't mention but, like with any friendship, you just have to take it in stride.