How To Handle The Blind

Chapter 5: How To Wine and Dine The Blind

 For our final segment, we will discuss dating as our subject is a twenty-one-year-old college student.

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I've met guys in person who were completely comfortable with my vision, but complete penises with regard to, well, their penis. One guy I'd met on the first day of my freshman year of college, who I thought was cool, would always try to invite himself over to my dorm in text. Eventually, I had to drop my veneer of niceness and tell him to GTFO (this was before the "by Felicia" craze, so I had to work with what I had). But that was the end of that.

When in person guys didn't work out, I turned to online dating. One guy "couldn't imagine a life" with me because his dog was going blind and he didn't think he could do that. Let that sink in.

Another guy was so painfully awkward that I thought about using the string in my cane to strangle myself. I'm joking (sort of). During the movies, he repeatedly mentioned how weird he thought audio description was (it's a feature on movies that describe all the visual parts of the film to a blind person). He just couldn't imagine not seeing the action. Well, dude, if you went blind, you would have no choice.

For the entire movie, he would occasionally pick up the other earpiece to listen and then stop. I don't need you to be okay with it. I am.

Then, upon deciding to go to a restaurant, he found the prospect of reading me the menu so "strange" that he asked that we switch to a place I was familiar with. I could have just found the menu online, but I'd been done with the evening when I fell asleep for a few minutes at the beginning of the movie. It was Dark Tower, the beginning was so painfully slow... sort of like that date.

Not all of my dating experiences have been bad. I recently met a guy who already knew about audio description, and offered me his arm the first time we hung out. ... Whoa.

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So how do you wine and dine the blind? Ask them. Don't assume they don't like the movies, or skating, or whatever other activity you think too visual. Chances are, they've already got it worked out, or have ideas on how to modify things.

You may also have "normal" conversation with a Blind date, such as politics, and race, and religion. They will have opinions. And not all of them will be what you expect. For example, there are blind atheists. And people who let perceived race from a voice or name color their initial perception.

In addition, the usual nonverbal cues may be hard for your blind date to pick up on, but that's what words are for (remember those from chapter 2?)

Finally, if you believe that whatever causes your sighted peers to reject you—such as bad hygiene—will not matter to a Blind, then you are wrong. There are other senses, not simply sight, that allow them to form opinions. And just as your friends offer opinions on your significant other, so to will the Blind's.