Pregnant Again!

I still can't believe it

Hey guys, I know it's been a while since I've updated. This week is finals week so I'm really cramming in some extra studying but I am almost finished with the next chapter. I just wanted to talk acknowledge the passing of Shinee's JONGHYUN. I don't really talk about Kpop achievements like other authors do (like MAMA or how BTS went to the AMA's) but this was really tragic and it hurt me. Although I never got to experience being an actual fan and dedicating myself to their fandom I still listened to their music. 1 of 1 is an awesome song. I couldn't believe Jonghyun had passed away and even now I'm still in denial. It just seems like it wasn't his time to go, Like I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and still see him singing. His last words were really emotional "You worked hard, You did well" but Jonghyun you worked hard and you did very well. The life of an idol isn't what it's always cracked up to be. There's too many do's and don'ts. You can't fully express yourself because you'll end up in a scandal (Korea isn't really open to topics like this even with the high suicide rate) You can't eat certain things or you have to be a certain weight. It's really fucked up especially if you have a company that is known for abuse or neglecting their idols. Personally this hits home. My friend (I'll just call her Kai) tried to attempt suicide earlier this school year. I was really worried cause she had gone missing for a while and didn't text me until one day she said she was in the hospital. Later we found out she was in a mental hospital to help her out. But after finding out what really happened I was worried because what if she had died? I would have never known. Even myself at times I've gone to dark places but I have friends who tell me it's not worth It, that I have a life to live and I can make something out of myself. That's what they need, they need support. Suicide is a horrible thing because they think they're alone. They think no one can help them and that's the only option. Please talk to someone, your parents, your friends or even me I'm always here. RIP Jonghyun, I know you're in a better place now.