A Court of Blood and Glory

Healing

Feyre

We sat in silence as our food was served. I did my best to act like he expected me to, but didn't start any conversations, didn't say more than I had to. I couldn't get the images of my mate's wings from my head, kept remembering when Tamlin tore them from his back, kept dwelling on Tamlin's words.
He won't be alive much longer.
I couldn't let anyone hurt Rhys again. I would sell my soul to keep him safe, whore myself to save him, give everything I was to ensure his survival, even if it killed me.
"You were out for a long time, my love. I am so glad that you are back." Tamlin said, a smile on his face.
"I am glad to be back. More than glad, Tam." The words tasted awful in my mouth, but they made him smile, helped him to see the weak little girl he thought I was. He reached over the table, grasping my glamoured hand and kissing it.
"Would you like to go for a walk with me today, Feyre? The gardens are lovely at the moment." He asked. As if I would want to spend any time with him! I was already regretting my decision to play as his pet, but I had to keep going, had to find anything useful to help my family.
"I'm not quite feeling myself, still. I would like to spend today alone, use the time to heal." His eyes were sad as I refused him, but he let me go all the same.
Just as I went to leave the room, though, Tamlin called after me. "Feyre, my love, there is something you should know before you do anything." He paused, and I held my breath as he spoke. "In order for me to have Hybern's help in getting you back I had to make a deal with the King. I could have you, and in return he would be able to use my land and resources to defeat the other High Lords, and he could use you and your powers to take down the wall too." I let out the breath I'd held, thinking through what he'd told me.
"Must I help him? My sisters live just beyond the wall, and they could get hurt!" I said, forcing concern for my family into my voice.
"I am going to do my best this week to get you out of the deal, but I can't promise anything. Maybe you should send word to your sisters, have them brought here for their own safety." Nothing could be worse for them, actually, but I couldn't outright disagree with him, not if I wanted him to trust me, so I left in silence, trying not to dwell on his words.
I spent that day in the library, undisturbed by anyone, using the time not to read, but to heal the bond between myself and Rhys. I focused on the bond, picturing a broken bridge, and used my gifts from dawn to slowly close the gap between us. By the time came for dinner I had made good progress. I still couldn't speak to Rhys, couldn't send him images or emotions, but I could sense him there, and I knew he could feel me on the other side.

xxx

Tamlin came to me as night fell, taking me back to the dining room to have eat, and began to tell me about where I would sleep that night and what would happen in the next few days.
"Unfortunately your room is destroyed, so I think it would be best if you slept in my room from now on. I can keep an eye on you that way." I almost spat out my food, but managed to pass it off as a cough and smiled at him, pretending to be pleased by his decision.
"I think that that would be useful for me, too, as it will help me get over what happened." Lies, lies and more lies. But I had to let him see what he wanted.
"I will need to spend some time at the borders this week, ensuring that Hybern can have safe passage through the court." He wouldn't be here. Excellent. "But I will come back each day to make sure you are alright." Not so great, but better than nothing. Any time away from him was a blessing.
We finished soon after that, returning to Tamlin's room to sleep, and I made sure that I chose the least revealing night wear that I could, one that only just covered my arse and shoulders.
When I left the bathroom I found Tamlin on the bed, wearing only his undershorts, staring at my body. He looked at me with lust, until he reached my tattoo, where his gaze held rage. But not at me, at my mate.
"I hate that tattoo of yours. It's like he branded you, claimed you as his own, made you into his own personal sex toy." I flinched at his words, at the possessiveness in his voice. I climbed into the bed, trying to put as much distance between us as possible, but he soon grabbed me and pulled me close to his chest, showing no sign of letting me go. "I will have it removed soon, find a way to get everything about him removed from this place." Everything except his wings, which would remain until I could return them to their rightful place.
Tamlin held me close to himself all night. I only was able to escape his grasp when I ran to the toilet, throwing up everything I'd eaten the day before, but Tamlin didn't even stir, unlike Rhys who would have comforted me. I sat in the bathroom, my head against the cold tiles, and tried to talk with Rhys whilst I waited for my stomach to settle, but I was nowhere near talking to him, still only able to feel his presence.
Once I had finished throwing up I realised that I wasn't going to be able to sleep again, even with dawn a long way off, so I got dressed in one of Tamlin's tunics and quietly went into the gardens, needing to get some fresh air to clear my head. I walked the manor's grounds for hours, not registering the sunlight breaking over the tree tops. It was once I heard a loud roar come from the manor that I realised how long I'd been out, and so I ran back to the manor to find Tamlin half in beast form, holding a sentry by their neck.
"Where is she?" He bellowed, throwing the man across the floor. I ran into the room, throwing myself in front of him as he went to hit the sentry, and the blow landed on me instead. He immediately rushed to my side, holding me tightly as he apologised.
"I'm sorry, Feyre. I'm so, so sorry. I thought you'd been taken from me again, that something awful had happened." He looked at me, his eyes full of regret, and kissed my forehead. He seemed to think that that was all he needed to say to earn my forgiveness, as he then pulled me to my feet and walked me into the dining room for breakfast, not another word said on his actions.

Rhysand

The moment the healers left I went to the Illyrians, needing to see how much of them had been saved. They were bandaged practically head to toe, still out cold but alive. And their wings were in their normal position. Good. Amren, Mor, and I spent that day playing the waiting game, sitting around without talking, waiting for our friends to wake up. I didn't know how long we remained that way, not wanting to sleep in case something else happened, but after dawn broke, signalling the start of the next day, enough was enough.
I walked out of the house and took off, flying around, my wings carrying me with ease, and headed to the clearing I'd fought Cassian in. I remained there for the rest of the day, training, trying to see if there were any more surprises built into my wings, working off every emotion I'd felt the past few days.
Too much. I'd lost too much.
My mate. My child. My bond. And now I was waiting for my friends to wake up. If they woke up.
I let go of all my control, letting my power flood the land and shake the ground.
I'd lost everything because of Tamlin. Because of Hybern. They were going to pay dearly for what they'd done to me, to my mate, to my child. They would pay with their lives, and then some more. I would win this war and burn their lands to the ground.
Once night fell I returned to Velaris, only to find Mor and Amren sitting in the kitchen, solemn looks on their faces.
"Rhys, we need to talk about Feyre." Mor said, and I knew where this was going. I had to begin to plan her rescue. I hoped this would be the last time we took her from that place.
"I think we need to..." I paused. I had to have imagined that. I had to. It was impossible. Yet I felt it again, and again, and again.
"Rhys, what is it? What's wrong?" Amren asked me, but I just shook my head.
"Nothing is wrong. It's right. I- I can feel the mating bond again. Not entirely, nowhere near as much as before, but it's like it's being pieced together bit by bit." I couldn't believe it. But it was true. And I knew it was Feyre's work, too.
I was so happy, so, so happy that I couldn't explain myself to my family.
"If you can rebuild the mating bond and talk to Feyre then we should wait to see what she says first. We shouldn't use any spies because of what happened last time, so we need a new source of inside information, and Feyre is in prime position." Amren said, her silver eyes gleaming with unshed tears of joy. It was amazing to see how big a part of our family Feyre had become in a few short months. It was hard not to notice the huge dent in our family without her.
But we were at war, and we had to separate our feelings from our decisions, so I agreed with Amren's words and that was that. We were to wait for Feyre to contact us before doing anything.
We were to wait. And wait. And wait.
I'd hadn't thought of what it must have been like for my friends whilst I was Under the Mountain, never considered what it would feel like for someone else to sacrifice themselves for myself, but as the time passed I began to feel worse and worse, unable to think of anything but what Feyre was doing, of how we could have done things differently, how I could have traded places with her. It was torture.
Hours turned to days, and by the end of the first week I'd trapped myself in my head, focusing only on healing the mating bond. I could feel my mate's emotions, put together an image of what she was doing, but I couldn't speak with her, couldn't see her thoughts or talk with her. Not yet.
I tried to help her by using the bond as much as possible. I'd always had half my attention on her, on how she was feeling, but it had turned to my full attention by week two. I had to get her back, had to speak with her just once.
I remained in my room for days, wrapped in darkness, trapped in my mind. I'd begun to feel her emotions with more strength, and I could send her specific emotions as well, mostly of love, but I also sent her concern. She always responded to me within moments, comforting me in my darkest moments.
Piece by piece, brick by brick we connected the bridge until one amazing day, when I saw the light.
I love you too, Rhys.