Random Rablings of a Lunatic.

Letter to A Murderer

My Dearest,

First off, thank you so much, for choosing me as your victim, because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I smile and pretend like all.is well, but these days I'm feeling more like a corpse then a living, breathing human.
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Trapped in a violent, yet blissful hurricane of emotions.

A cyclone of heartache, and beautiful, poisonous visions of your face.

I wish I could cut out the part of my brain that still loves you.  Dissect it, slowly and painfully slice away every single memory, piece by piece.

I wish I could tear myself open and bleed out all of these feelings I still have for you.

What a beautifully ironic tragedy this has turned out to be, and you thought I would end up breaking your heart..

You fell fast, but Im the one who fell hard, and I made a splat on the pavement where you failed to catch me.

You've murdered a small a part of my soul.

You've bludgeoned, beat, and left me alone, to bleed to death.

Now I'm the one left empty, and with nothing but broken and bloody pieces, of every word and glance we ever exchanged.

Some days I wish I had never met you, others I try to see the value in what I've learned from all of this.

I know that I've learned, never to trust again. Never to let anyone in, or give anyone even a tiny piece of myself.

Once you do that, you give someone the power to destroy that piece, and the sad truth is, like you, not everyone who smiles at you and tells you they love you, truly mean what they say.

Maybe Im a sucker for punishment, but I still don't hate you. I only hate myself for still loving you. 

Even though you may have killed a piece of it, with all of my heart, or at least whats left of it,  I wish you nothing but love and happiness.

-A.R.