Unspoken Feelings [Tom Hiddleston X Reader]

Part IX

You don't know why but your body moves on its own. Your heart hurts and tears won't stop falling. You've hurt the guy who did nothing but to love you and now he is letting you go so you can be with the man you love. This made you feel guilty but thankful. Nick will always be in your heart but just like he said the one you truly love is Tom.

Driving your car, you need to see Tom. You need to find him. There was no news that he already left the town, so you went to his hotel. You just hope that it's not yet too late. Standing in front of Tom's hotel room, you waited for him to answer. You don't know exactly what you want to say all you know was you wanted to tell him that you love him. You don't care if he'll take you back or not.

You rang the doorbell for the nth time and still no answer. You don't know if he was purposely not answering the door or not but you've been there for almost an hour. Taking a deep breath you went to the lobby at the front desk.

"Good morning." Said the lady in the front desk "what can I do for you?" She asked smiling at you.

"Hi.. Ahm. May I know if Tom Hiddleston has already checked out?" You asked.

"I'm sorry Miss but we can't tell our guests..." she said still being polite.

"No, I understand. I think you just answered my question. Thank you." You said weakly smiling at her then you walked away with a heavy heart. It was too late you thought.

"Are [Y/N L/N]?" She asked making you looked at her.

"Yes, that's me." You immediately responded, walking back to her.

"We just need a proof of your Identity" she said and you presented your ID. The lady smiled "Thank you. Mr. Hiddleston, instructed us to give this to you if you came." She was handing you an envelope.

"Thank you."

Taking the envelope, you went back to your car. Upon opening it, the cover is old but still in good condition, it was a journal. You recognized it, it was the journal that Tom brings wherever he goes. He told you that he brings it so he can write the most important things in his life.

Caressing the front cover, your hand was shaking. You don't know why he wanted you to have it.

You started to read his journal and you can't believe what you were reading. Most of the things written in the journal was about you. There, you read how Tom tried to recall how you two met. How you scold him for simple mistake he made. How you made him laughed when he was feeling down. How you smell. How your eyes sparkled when you speak passionately about something you love. How you held his hand for the first time because you were scared of heights. How you scream on top of your lungs, when you two rode the roller coaster. How scared he was when you almost hit by a bus. How mad he was to find out that your ex broke your heart. How he wants to make you happy. How he wants to tell you your worth. How supportive you were. How you can bring light to his dark life. How happy you made him when you two were together. How contented he was when you were with him. How hurt he was when you left without a word. How he misses you. How he longs for you. How broken he was when he thought he will never see you. How he felt when he finally found you. How hurt he was when he found out that you were with Nick. How he argued with himself that he should be contented to just have you back and be as a friend to you. How he tried to stop his feelings for you because he can tell that you were happy. How he regretted that he didn't tell you from the start that he loves you. And how sorry he was to hurt you again and again. On the last page he wrote...

'Y/N], to the woman I love. I'm sorry that every time that you are with me, you end up hurting. I want you to know that I always pray for your happiness. I know that you will be happy with Nick. You are right, he is a good man and I know he will not hurt you like I did. Remember when you told me that I just need to follow my heart? I hope that time I did follow your advice maybe, just maybe I am the lucky man you are going to marry. I've been in love with you for so long and for so long I ignore that feeling. I want you to know that I was scared that I am not good enough for you. Now, even with the success of my career. I am still not good enough. You deserve someone who will love you every moment without hesitation, someone who will love you unconditionally, just like Nick. Lucky lad, how I wish to be him, so that I can have you. I can't blame you that you chose him. I'll be forever grateful that I met you. That I was loved by a wonderful woman like you. Now, I just want to tell you that even after this, I am still deeply in love with you. [Y/N], I love you.'

|End of Part IX|

A/n: Hope you all like it.😊 Oh and I have my other Fic posted its title is The Death Of Me. I hope you'll like that as well.