Phan Oneshots ❤️

ice bae

Dans POV

I've been feeling off. Really off. Not the kind where you stumble around for a week and see things in a blurry haze then things turn to rainbows and sunshine, the kind where you feel... like darkness is following you. Every time I look straight I see things in my peripheral vision, some sort of shadow dancing in the corners, but I feel it too, and its cold. If I turn my head I feel shards puncturing into me, deeply and slowly. And my muscles hurt also, it feels like a growth spurt all over again but more like tearing then stretching.

I didn't think much of this at first until I felt that I was in real danger, but then I thought I would die. Death by surprise attack, death by brain damage, death by just shrinking and shrinking til I was nothing more. 

My only friend has noticed. And by only I mean only. Phil Lester has been with me ever since we were born for as our parents have been really good family friends but only up until my mother and father died three years ago in a fiery car crash. I have lived with them ever since because I had no other relatives. I wasn't even born in a hospital. To the world, Dan Howell doesn't exist. But this has made it harder for me to control my emotions for Phil, because before I could even remember I have always loved him; the way he walks, talks, smiles, laughs, is able to logic things out and always find solutions. But I know that will never be, he's not even gay and I don't want to take the risk of ruining the only human interaction I have. 

When I started feeling off, Phil obviously asked Whats wrong, and How can I help?  I didn't want Phil to worry about me so I used the one response I could think of; just thinking of my parents. Phil will always hug me for a while after I said this, which is another reason I love him, he genuinely cares. Phil's parents are the exact same, they have always treated me like their own son even when my parents were alive and I have every right to be grateful for everything they have done. But lately, they have been acting cautiously around me. Maybe they saw I was a wreck and was just giving me space? Either way, nothing was helping, I still felt like shit. A scared little shit. 

****After School on a Friday****

I'm running as fast as I can away from school or is it... Phil, I'm running from? Either way, I couldn't bear to see Phil and Cat kiss next to his car, the way she moved her curves, licked her lips and explored his body with her hands. I would rather run the miles instead of getting into that car. Sure, maybe I was acting a little too irrational but... I love Phil, and I'm full of jealousy and hatred and all I see is perfect Phil without me forever and just the color red... I stopped running to throw up my lunch on the curb. I began to shake violently as I continued to convulse my feelings out. It began to get really cold out and I was freezing. That's when it happened. 

I brought my hands up to eye level because they were too freezing and saw that they were so pale they were almost translucent with a hint of blue, then pinpricks of ice began forming in the pad of my fingertips and grew. Ice took control of my fingers and started spreading to my palms. Am I imagining this? It feels so real. Whether it was real or not it burned it was so cold and it was spreading even more. I began to run again, this time from myself. 

I couldn't move my wrists down because they were encased in ice, I started to cry from the pain but as soon as they were on my cheeks they turned solid, making my face stick out with the burning frozen water. My feet suddenly copied my hands which caused me to fall and skin my body. My hands were pressed upon the concrete sidewalk and when I pushed against it to stand up I left two ice prints imprinted on the ground. Despite my entire body freezing up and slowly encasing me to death I ran and ran and somehow ended up at my old house. 

My old house has been on the market ever since they died, I never knew why nobody bought it but if anything I was grateful. Across the street I saw that Mr. and Mrs. Lesters cars were parked in their house across from my parents, I cant go in there, should I go into my house? I had no choice as the ice wasn't stopping, I ripped open the unlocked door and slammed it shut. I ran into the living room but tripped and fell on the ground. My tears weren't stopping and were coming down even harder. I put my frozen hand on my chest but it was a bad move for the ice was beginning to rest upon my chest. It was so cold, I was suffocating, I was dying. Is this how I'm going to go? What is happening to me?