Samantha

Chapter Five

My body felt so heavy, as if an enormous weight clutched to my chest, refusing to let go. The rush of blood in my body system almost turned me insane. No matter how many times that had happened to me, I couldn't adapt to the pain or the sudden strength that appears every time. 

I was passing through my room, hoping to reach the bathroom before my condition gets worse, when my body started shaking, quaking and trembling. My breath almost stopped, and my heart was about to tear my ribs out.

Unfortunately, my legs failed me in reaching the bathroom as my knees wobbled underneath me. Falling down, I touched the ground with a loud thud. The fall caused the bag in my hands to tear. I held my hand out, trying to catch the nearest thing to me. Instead of catching any of the objects that fell from the bag, I caught the bathroom's door handle.

I cursed under my breath when all the objects scrambled to the floor. I yelled and shouted for luck to be in my side to end this pain, but I found no voice coming out of my mouth.

My breath started getting out in gasps, and I couldn't count my heart beats. As quickly as I could manage, I grabbed the contents of the small bag. I looked down - next to me - again and on the floor was a piece of cloth surrounding my savor.

I hurried and unwrapped the cover, never in my life had I been this desperate for a dosage. 

A daily dosage was like water to me. I couldn''t steadfast a whole day without it. It just feelt amazing how your mood would be good in hypervelocity of seconds. It's wonderful how you'd be care-free and capable to hid your sadness after having it.

I used to  need for it provocatively and endlessly to stop my rebel and tense.  But now, my veins might burn remorselessly if those pleasurable chemicals didn't stride into them.

I know I lost it for depending on drugs. I know my self-esteem had blown away. I couldn't go back or turn around, though. I craved them like a pregnant mother craving for food. I just couldn't.

I took deep breaths and reached for the belt I wore, trying to slip it off of me, but I couldn't. My hands shook miserably and I just couldn't bring myself to pull any longer so I took the cloth I unwrapped from the needle and the drug and slung it around my left arm, tying it in a tight, no, so tight plot. With each movement I made, my whole body felt as if on fire.

This was the first time for me to reach this level so suddenly. I used to have craves and cramps as a beginning but never to this level.

I somehow relaxed when I was able to slip the chemical drug into the injection. There was nothing left but to insert the liquid in my arms and it'd be over.

I sighed once, twice, and then slammed my eyes shut as I inserted the injection just under the twist I made with the cloth around my arm.

The pain started to supress, yet my breathing ragged more. I pulled on the twist of the cloth with my teeth until I noticed my arm growing blue, before I felt something running through me. All time through, I kept looking at the injection until I emptied it into me. I pulled it out with a sigh and just threw it away.

Deep breath, take deep breaths.. I reminded myself.

I looked around me to see the mess I made in the room. I took another deep breath, and brushed some of my hair behind my ear with the free arm. The other was pretty much swollen from the tightness of the cloth. But the fact was that I felt quite calm, relaxed. I was feeling nothing but how light my head was getting and how great I felt. Not so light to get drunk, nor too stressed to need another dosage.

I stood up and began gathering everything back into a new bag from under my bed matters. Half way through, the house main phone suddenly rang. 

Everything dropped from my hand with the jump I made at the sudden sound, and I just rushed to the phone.  I couldn't help but breath as heavy as before, but not just from running.