Untold Love

Chapter 3: Feelings

Days passed after Hanji and I spoke about our past, Jasmine kept trying to flirt with me, but I ignored her.

Sitting in front of the TV after sweeping and dusting my dorm room, I kept switching channels. I wanted to sleep, but something kept me awake. Then, a knocking came at my door. 

"Coming." I say as I walked to the door. I peaked through the peep hole and saw Hanji. She had a small basket, covered in some kind of black cloth. I opened the door, "Hello, shitty glasses."

"Clean-freak. May I come inside?"

"Of course you can." I opened the door wide enough to let Hanji through. "What are you doing here? With all due respect."

"Oh, thought I should give you something. After all... you're forced to do my experiments and you get nothing in return."

"I get free stuff."'

"Yeah, but not from me. Thought it would... spruce this place up a bit. It's a bit gloomy."

"So what?"

"I got you these." I look at Hanji as she took the black cloth off the basket. Inside was a small plant, I'm guessing bluebell flowers. There was also some lotus flowers and some scented candles.

"Thanks Hanji." I say as I reached for the candles. I sniffed one of them, and it smelled like a lotus flower.

"You're welcome. Besides, it's nice to give gifts. Speaking of gifts... when's your birthday? I completely forgot to ask."

"When's yours?"

"September 5th."

"That's nice. I don't know my real birthday, but we go for December 25th."

"Christmas..."

"Yeah."

"Just know I won't give you two gifts, one for Christmas and one for your birthday."

"That's fine, not a big fan of getting gifts."

"Ha-ha, you're funny, Levi."

"So, what are we doing today?"

"Nothing, it's a break day for you."

"Thank goodness."

"What was that?"

"I don't have to do an experiment for you."

"You shouldn't be happy like that." I sit down on the couch trying to calm down.

"Hanji... I think I have a headache..."

"Oh... want me to make some tea for you?"

"Uh... don't poison me."

"I won't." I hear Hanji going through cabinets and water running. 

I must've fallen asleep or something because I felt Hanji shaking me. "What?"

"You fell asleep fast when I was making your tea."

"I did?"

"Yeah. I have your tea right here. I woke you up when the tea was finished, I didn't want it to get cold." She sits down next to me... and I felt weird. My ears became warm and I looked at Hanji. She was... unexpected...

"Thanks." I take my tea from her and take a sip. It tastes different... like it's sweet. I take another sip, trying to figure out what type of tea leaves were used.

"It's lemon tea leaves."

"What?"

"Your expression, it was like you was confused about the flavor. It's lemon."

"Oh... it's nice. I never had lemon tea before. It's always been black tea for me."

"Wow. Well... on occasion, I drink lemon tea, but it's always been coffee." Hanji takes the TV remote and starts to flip through the channels.

I quickly drink my tea and watch Hanji flip through the channels. I guess Hanji gave up because she turned the TV off.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm bored... let's do something fun..." Hanji lays her head on my shoulder, she didn't mind it, but I wanted to push her off. Her resting on me... it didn't feel abnormal... it felt... right...

Minutes passed and I hear Hanji's soft snores. She drifted off to sleep. I tucked her hair behind her ears and taking her glasses off her face. I placed her glasses on the table, carefully trying not to wake Hanji. I look at her... she seems like a normal person when she's calm and not hyper. I lay my head down... why am I thinking these things about her? Why am I feeling this way towards her? I never... felt this way. I wrapped my arms around Hanji's torso, I pulled her close to me. I feel I want to protect her... forever... but why? What is this feeling? It feels similar to my feelings towards Isabel and Farlan... but it feels... different... I closed my eyes. Isabel and Farlan, huh? I miss them... my heart breaks every time when I remember their deaths. Why... did they have to die... It should... it should've been me instead... if only...

My arms started to move unexpectedly, opening my eyes, I see Hanji squirming around.

"Hanji, what are you doing?"

"What were you doing?!" Hanji escapes my grips of my arms.

"I-I don't know..." My voice trailed off. Why did I do that in the first place?

"That's unexpected of you. You seem like a cold person, but you have feelings. You have a heart."

"My heart died a long time ago."

"No, you have feelings left in your heart and mind. Tell the truth."

"I don't have feelings."

"Then why did you hold me in your arms when I was sleeping? Why did you take my glasses off? Explain."

"It felt right, I guess."

"Right? Huh... weird."

"What's weird?" I look at her as she reached for her glasses.

"Holding me was right to you."

"Oh. Anyways, what are we doing then?"

"Smile and I'll tell you."

"No. I don't smile."

"I will make you smile." Hanji leans close to me.

"Oh really? Try me, shitty glasses."

"You asked for it."

Hanji's face became close to mine. "What-" Hanji covered my eyes, so I saw nothing. "Hanji-" Then I felt her lips on my mouth. I wanted to push her away, but my body never followed what my mind wanted me to do. Instead of pushing her off, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer.

Seconds passed and Hanji removed her hands from my eyes. I look at her, my vision a bit blurred, but I can see her smile. "See? I made you smile."

My hand went to my face, and I felt my mouth form a expression that I hardly ever do. "W-What...?"

"You smiled, now, I'll tell you what we're going to do."

"I hate you."

"Nope. You love me." Hanji giggles and kisses me again. It's nothing bad, but I do enjoy it. I guess... I had feelings for her.