Supernatural x Reader

John Winchester x Reader: I Love My Wife

Warnings: Angst. Mention of smut. Bi or Pan reader.
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You got out of bed picking up your bra and underwear slipping them on. You kept moving picking up your clothes that were scattered around the bedroom.

"You don't have to leave," said the taut voice behind you. You sighed momentarily pausing your actions.

"We talked about this, John." you responded, lowly.

"I know, but-" he started, but stopped talking when you did.

"John, this is casual. We agreed on that," you said, zipping up your jeans. Your back was to him as you slide your shirt over your head.

"Y/N, revenge is a dark and dangerous rode that only leads to pain. I, of all people know that," he sat up. You turned to face him.

"John...I love my wife. She's not alive anymore, but-...But I'm sure as hell not going to sit around and give that sonofvabitch the satisfaction of killing the love of my life," you bitterly look down at your hands, as you tied your shoes.

"Give us a chance, Y/N. We work great together, we already have a physical connection-" he started cautiously.

"No, John. I'm not putting myself through what I did with Angela again. You're a nice guy, John. Find yourself a normal, nice girl, and settle down. If not for you, then for your boys. They don't need to grow up like soldiers, they need to grow up like kids. Don't do this to them, John. It's only gonna hurt them," you said sincerely. You let out a shaky breath.

"We can't see each other again, John. It isn't healthy..." You swallowed hard.

"No! Just forget what I said-" he jumped out of bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist. You slowly shook your head.

"You know I can't do that,"

"It was fun while it lasted," you gave a sad smile. You walked forward and placed a lingering kiss on his lips.

"Goodbye, John." You whispered. John was close to tears, he couldn't go through another heartbreak. It would kill him. You left him in the cold motel room.

John never got to see you again before he died. He always hoped fate would bring you too together. But the real world doesn't work like that. Maybe he would get to see you in another life. He doubted that though. You were an angel in his eyes, wherever he was going he knew you wouldn't be there. But he could hope. He could hope that he would see, Y/N the badass hunter. The women that he could never have. The women who was dead set on finding the monster that killed her wife. The love of her life. John knew he could never get you to love him like you loved Angela. But he would wait. And wait. And wait.