so it's midnight right now and I have to be up early in the morning to go to a friends for her birthday. im in the worst mood - i feel like complete shit, and the fact that I'll probably have to pretend everything is normal is making me even more anxious. what if I have a breakdown and ruin her whole day. not to mention I'll have to eat as well
, lets hope i don't give in to temptation and eat a lot. Otherwise I'd just have to spend quite a long time in the bathroom, if you know what I'm getting at. I know it's bad but i can't stop myself. every time i eat over 1000 calories in a day i freak out - the only way to fix it is purge, exercise, green tea. i had a sleepover with three of my best friends the other day and we all weighed ourselves cos we were curious. I didn't know how much I weighed until then, I only knew my waist measurement (26 inches ew) but apparently i weight 52kg, which meant i weighed the least compared to the others, they were around 60kg. for reference im 5"3 and they're a couple centimetres taller than me so i guess it balances out. i wish i was taller so i looked less fat. my thighs are gross, i barely have a thigh gap and my stomach sticks out so much if i eat. guess i just gotta drink my milk.
00:27am - 23/12/17
