Nothing We Know - L.H

Chapter 19: Almost

'I love you'

The three words that kept me wanting to be alive and open my eyes.

The bright white light blinded me as I try to contemplate what's happening.

"Oh my god baby you're awake" a surprised raspy voice exclaimed it sure is obvious that he hasn't spoke for awhile because his accent was too thick.

I slightly opened my eyes as the white lights flicker and I can feel the warm afternoon sun coming from the windows touch my pale bruised skin.

I coughed a little before talking, "What happened to me?"

"Y-you overdosed. I'm so sorry" Luke exclaimed his voice breaking, his face almost inches away from me "This would've never happened. This was never supposed to happen to you if it wasn't for me. Ever since I came into your life I brought you pain. Myle, I don't know what to say but I'm really sorry I-"

I pressed my cold index finger against his warm soft lips and cupped his face with my free hand as I let tears fall down my face. I couldn't hold the pain anymore, he has to know. Call me selfish but he has to know. There's no point in lying.

"I have my memory back, Luke"

He couldn't believe about the words I've just said. He stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes confused. I tried to move closer to him but he stood up and pulled away.

He rubbed his temples, "D-did you just got your memory back? like, just right now?"

I shook my head.

"Y-you mean you had it before all these...these happened?"

"Yes. I mean I was suppo-"

"You had your memory back but you didn't tell me right away?!" His voice cracking, almost shouting.

"What am I supposed to do? you should've thought about that when you noticed that I acted around you so weirdly" I retorted, my head started to ache.

"Listen, why didn't you tell me?!"

"You were busy!" I almost yelled,

"Busy?" He sassed as he scratch the back of his neck making it obvious that he's pissed.

Should he react like this? I mean I don't even know why I'm here or why he's here.

"You were busy with your girlfriend how am I supposed to compete with that?! You only see her! Did you even know how much it hurts me to see you together now that I have my memory back? you just proved to me that I AM NOTHING TO YOU!"

"Jesus, Myle! I wa-"

"No stop! get out!" I screamed hitting him a pillow motioning him to get out of the room. I don't know what I'm feeling I hate him. Maybe this is just an abrupt decision but for now I'm so offended. I don't need this. I don't want this.

"Myle please I-"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK! OUT!!"

--

Today, I got out the hospital. Helen kept on telling me that Luke was always in the hospital lobby asking to talk to me but I just can't. Not now. Just when everything's about to change because he knows that I got my memory back things got way too bad to handle it. Its just so messed up at the moment I really refuse to see him, the thought of me seeing him is unbearable. I just can't handle him anymore. I guess this is really it.

I've been confined 2 days before today. I haven't seen him since.

Helen explained to me what happened and I apologized for making them worried. I asked them if I should go to a rehab instead because I'm all fucked up right now and I just don't care about anything.