why do i have to hurt?
why did it have to be me?
it's one of those days and i'm crying again
it's just me and i and i and me, on my bed
my tears are falling freely on the blanket
there'll soon be blood to mask it
mask my pain..mask my insecurities
i've grown in a pile of doubt and cuts
where did the girl with hope in her eyes
smile on her lips,regret in her lies
go?
am i dreaming again,is everything a dream
when will it end..cause it's breaking me
why do i have to hurt..why do i have to cry.
why do i have to pretend and lie
nothing's alright,and i don't think it'll be.
it's just me and i..and i and me
forever alone in my room of dispair
i always cry and cut and pull my hair
even the blue on the walls is taunting me
as blue as it is,it's happier than i'll ever be
i feel like a mistake..just a filler of air
maybe one day i'll see i love and care
about this stupid mess
i call myself
maybe one day i'll overcome my demons
i'll let then ruin me
so i can be reborn
maybe one day..he'll see me..he'll notice my pain
maybe one day i'll actually be..happy
maybe i'll lose my rainy cloud..be free
i wanna be loved..i wanna see
how it is to smile freely
i wanna be close and i wanna be warm
i'm sick or being ignored and cold
i think i'm pretty..i think i'm ok..
just wish i could admit it one day
till then i'll sit and cry
and wail and die
and burn and crash
cut and wash
away all my pain
with years of an eternity
and i'll be sorry
and i'll be ashamed
and i'll be alone
and i'll forget
i'll forget my pain..but i'll never forgive it
fuck you pain..and all the illneses you gave me
