I walked in and found it empty except for someone I wasn't expecting, although I wasn't surprised in the least. I stalked my way to the bar stools and took a seat next to the brown-haired girl.
"Evening, Cana," I said. The woman lifted her head and smirked.
"Well, well, if it isn't the old Rune Master. Out drinking with the Rajinshu?" she said with throwing an arm over my shoulder. Before I could answer, she called out to the bartender. "Ramón! Get my man Freed and his guys some of the strongest alcohol! Oh, and add on another barrel for me!"
"Actually, I'm alone," I stared. "And fine whiskey is more than enough. I really don't need much right now."
"Hah?! Why not?" Cana raised a brow and sat back down pulling Freed into the seat beside her. "Everyone always needs alcohol, man."
"Not everyone can hold it down like you," I snorted. The bartender handed me a light drink with a knowing look on his face before I began to chug it. "Thanks, Cana."
"No problem. So, what's got you so down in the dumps? Is it thunderhead again? I swear, if it is, I'll go over there and beat him myself so you two can finally cuddle together," the alcoholic threatened. With a sigh, I stared down at the now empty glass watching my reflection as it distorted with each turn I made.
"That won't be happening. I... I left," I said. Cana stopped drinking from her barrel and placed it neatly beside her. With an eyebrow raised, she turned to face me.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, simply that. I've left the Raijinshu and... Laxus. I'm going on my own no matter what." Ramón came back with a refill which I accepted and drowned almost as quickly as the first. I nodded towards the bartender letting him know I was finished. "I've chased after Laxus for too long. But, he barely glances my way," I continued. "He hasn't said a word about my confessions nor has he acted on it. That in itself is as good as a verbal rejection. I can't do it anymore. Watching him come home everyday graciously is amazing, but I feel like a dog. I am loyal, true, but I want to get more than a 'good job' or a 'thank you, Freed.' I want to feel him hug me and kiss me like a doll. I want to be pampered back like I've pampered him. I want to hear words like 'I miss you' or 'I love you.' Every time he touches me, I feel a spark rub through my body, no pun intended. Am I expected to live the rest of my life hurting? To feel that suffocating darkness around me when I close my eyes knowing that when I wake, I have the notion that I've already lost the thunder I want to hear. I've lost that hold on reality. It's only on missions that he'll look out for me. And I guarantee: Laxus only sees me as a teammate. Nothing else. This isn't like some small crush anymore. But, I know it can't and won't happen. Yet, my wishes will only be drowned deeper the longer I stay. So, I've left it all behind. I've left him all behind."
I was heaving heavily by the end of my explanation. My chest moved up and down apprehensively, the wounds in my heart being opened and stitched over and over. The inner conflict of wanting to let go, yet wanting to go back; It burns like lava covering everything and leaving nothing in its wake. The land is doomed to be consumed by and by. It devours no matter if it lies on land or slither on the ocean floor. And now, it's here to imprison my heart.
Cana pulled me into her arms and held me.
"Let it out," she whispered. "Don't hold back your emotions, Freed. It doesn't suit you." I whimpered before I gripped her arms and sobbed, my cries echoing through the room.
"I-I didn't want to leave, Cana."
"I know," she said. "Love doesn't always work out like our innocent stories for little children. However, monsters still exist. Both of us have seen enough proof of that. Even so, there are monsters that exist that cannot be destroyed or tamed by any weapon nor spell. Those are the demons that reside within us. I felt them when I lived day by day without knowing if I would get to confess to Gildarts about my lineage to him. I waited for him to come back each and every time, yet whenever he came, I chickened out. Your love and my love may differ, but we both have the same demons. I've faced mine. Now, you must face them as well."
"It's terrifying," I mumbled. No, terrifying didn't even scratch the surface of how I feel. It was beyond the point of fear. It was mere existence in world where nothing will appeal to my desires. How should I feel against this darkness? Was it too selfish of me? I'm scared I'll make a mistake. I'm scared that I'll do something I will never be able to change. I'm scared to let go.
"I'm not good with these things," Cana began after a moment, "but if you like, you can stay with me until you figure things out. It's the least I could do for a brother."
"I'm for being a burden."
"No such thing, just promise you'll pay me back for my service. You know I'll always accept alcohol," Cana said as she pulled back with a grin. "I'm here for you." A small laugh left my throat as I lifted my head to meet her eyes.
"Thank you, Cana," I said.
"Hehe, I'm always here for you, man. Now, let's drink a little more before I drag you back to my place for seconds!" she screamed. I deadpanned as I looked at her.
"You do not need seconds!" I shouted. But, the heavy drinker howled and cackled with laughter. Deep down, I was grateful to Cana. While she feigned arrogance and hailed alcohol, Cana was one of the most intuitive people I knew. I trust her with me life.
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Dark Embrace (Laxus x Freed Fanfic)
Fanfiction"Is Laxus here?" Those three words came from Freed's jaws every single day since he contracted cancer. Perhaps it was bound to happen. He was, afterall, a mage who specialized in historic spells, yet here was his life ready to join the remnants of h...
