Fear

I am a robot

All my life I've been told not to fear, for my own sake but more for my family.

I've been told not to ever let my guard down, because one mistake could be as fatal as someone's death.

I've been told to stay strong, because my weakness will only bring everyone down.

I've been told not to show any flaws, because I am the leader...

Being told all of that I decided to just bottle up everything and try my best to fulfill their expectations.

However, I eventually I realized that I also bleed, that I also breath, that I'm also a human...

But really?

Could I be considered one anymore when I smile but was not happy, when I silent but extremely angry, when I wanted to scream but practically mute?

Can I still be considered human when my feelings slowly died out?

Yes, I feel sympathy and I'm still the kind and sweet person everyone knows. But they feel more like obligation than real feelings now.

And I might not made of circuits and wires, but maybe I slowly turned into a 'robot'?

Well, robots don't cry, right? So maybe I am...

"Juudaime, are you okay?"

"Don't worry I'm fine..." -I can't say otherwise afterall...

"Yo, Tsuna! How do you feel about this?"

"I'm so happy" -besides, if I'm not, wouldn't you be disappointed?

"Tsunayoshi no Baka!!! Why would you do that?! You could have been killed!!!"

"B-But you're fine, a-and that's all matters" -your life worth more than mine anyway...

"Dame-Tsuna, get over it. boss mob shouldn't cry over the slightest thing."

"And I didn't..." -because tears was form of weakness. And I can't show any weakness, right?

"H-How could you smile after you killed like that! I thought you're different from those evil mafioso!"

"Heh? You thought so?" -well, you just don't know me that well. And the reason on why I smiled because that's the only mask I have left...

"That's it! We're done! I'm breaking up on you!"

"Oh, okay then..."

"Wait! Shouldn't you be disappointed or angry?"

"Should I?" -I never loved you from the start afterall. I think I'm too numb to feel anymore...

But never mind that... I'm still a human, aren't I?

I mean, despite all of that, I still have fear. And I believe, only living creature could sense fear, right?

This fear, was the one that keeps me 'alive' afterall.

My... my fear to be left alone.

The reason why I changed myself, the reason why I neglected all of my scare, the reason why I'm fine turning into a 'robot', the reason why I never again scared of death. It's because my biggest fear was never losing my life, but losing you, my dearest family, from my side.

So please.

"Minna... whatever happened, please stay by my side, okay?"

Smiles I received.

"Of course, Juudaime!"

"We got your back, Tsuna!"

"You're our EXTREME brother afterall!"

"Don't you worry, bossu."

"Kufufufu, no need to ask"

"Hn, omnivore..."

"Hmp, We'll stick with you till the end, Dame-Tsuna"

And for the first time after so long, I genuinely smiled as I realized that I was never a robot... I am a human.

All that I need is my family to patch me up with their love.