NIGHTFALL DROPS, Obscurity started to unfold. Those street lights were left to light the surroundings from pure darkness. I realized I was alone. I always was.
Perfect
I can’t accept the veracity of reality, on how real memories were. Everything happened in just a lightning strike. As fast as the falling star from above. The feeling like you actually saw it, and at the end you feel like you didn’t.
I can feel the moment when you wake up in a bad dream that you can’t remember
I see the existence of the winter’s ghost knocking on the outside. The window pane starts to freeze. He’s lying on his bed. His face looks like an angel as I look at him peacefully dreaming. Beside him is a loud machine which kept on beeping. Despite of the irritating sound it makes, it’s the only thing that makes him conscious and a sign that he’s still with us.
Leukemia. It’s been 3 months ago since we found out his illness. Is that fatal? Mom said most people can’t survive that disease. The doctor said he only has limited time living.
“Chanyeol-ah, your birthday’s coming. How are we going to celebrate it with you sleeping? How will you know if I put a cake icing on your nose? You don’t like it, do you?” I tell him, but he doesn’t respond.
Chanyeol, a friend of mine.
I can still remember those plans we made before his birthday. That moment still keeps on playing inside my mind.
“Chanyeol-ah, what do you want for me to give you as a gift?” I am sitting beside his bed at this moment asking him questions that I know he won’t answer. “A snapback maybe? You like collecting them, don’t you? Or you want shoes? I saw your shoes last night. It’s a bit worn out already. Aish! You need a lot of things. How can I buy all of them for you?” I protest.
Baekhyun-sshi, you don’t need to give me a present anymore. It would be burdensome for you. I know he would say that.
I’m not expecting to hear any response from him. Though I look insane talking to someone who I knew won’t respond at all, I don’t care at all because I know he can hear me.
I decided to hang a calendar on his wall. Everytime I wake up in the morning, I never forget to mark an “x” on each day that passes by before 27th of November.
20 days left. I murmured as I marked the 7th day of November.
Days unstoppably befall until the more than half of the calendar is filled with red marks.
10 days. Chanyeol, I’m counting on you. I want to know what really his condition is. It’s been a long time since I last saw him smile at me. Now, all I can see is him, eyes-closed, not even knowing what’s happening to his own self.
His mom entered the room, I greeted her a good day. She smiled back. It was a relief seeing her smile despite of her son’s state. She told me to go eat my breakfast. I’m not hungry, really. But I know Chanyeol’s mom will be disappointed if I didn’t eat the food she made for me.
5 more days.
Why am I doing this? Do I pressure Chanyeol too much? I should. I need him.
“Yeol, 5 more days.” I said to him. Same Chanyeol I used to know. The same tall guy whom I spend my whole life doing dumb and stupid things. The different thing about him is those tubes interconnected to his nose and other parts of his body. I wonder how much pain he holds because I’m willing to lessen it for him.
“Does it hurt? How much pain can you hold? Tell me if you can’t hold on anymore. I’m willing to ease off the pain you feel.”
I’m okay.
