The harsh touch of the sun disturbed my presence on this being. The smooth waves of the sea of grass were there. It's warm. The ambient tells me it's summer. I can tell my clock stopped that I didn't even realize time is still running for me.
It's been years since Chanyeol left; still wondering if this was fate's assault.
I thought that day was the worst day. But, no. That moment Chanyeol left me isn't the worst thing that ever happened to me--what's worse are those times after he left. Loneliness is haunting me. How I miss everything about him; his touch, his voice....everything.
It never leaves my mind. I feel like things just happened yesterday.
**
Bereft, anxious, poignant, insane. I don't know where to go. My feet led me to an abandoned playground I call 'Space'.This playground isn't that special when compared to others. Nondescript and mediocre.
I've been here before. Only Chanyeol and I used to know this place.
I sat in one of the swings and inhaled the fresh air I never thought it still exists. I love this place not just because of its tranquility, but also because this is the only inexorable thing in this world after everything that happened.
I reminisce those times when Chanyeol and I used to play here, a place where we become kids again for a couple of hours. I can still see his face smiling at me. I smile back. But those were before. I don't even remember how to smile or laugh anymore or how to cry and be sad. I feel like a living manikin. I feel numb.
At this moment, I understood the meaning of nostalgia.
I bring out a piece of paper and tore a scrap out of it and write the words:
"I'm Byun Baekhyun. They took my everything from me. Can someone take this pain away?"
I pinned it on one of those tree trunks with a thumb tack. I have no one to talk to at this moment, no shoulders to cry on, and no arms to hold on so this could be the best way to express the pain I'm feeling right now.
I'm not expecting someone to read it because I know no one will ever come to a place like this unless he wants to.
It's getting late so I left.
Its been a long time since I last visited that place. I put my attention in different things. Singing, composing and sometimes I visit chanyeol's mom's home just to make sure she's okay so she doesn't feel alone.
I decided to take a walk and pass by the playground so I decided to spend my time there for a while. I look for the paper I pinned on the tree trunk days ago. My eyes widened when I saw words added on the piece of paper.
"I'm Byun Baekhyun. They took my everything from me. Can someone take this pain away?"
"Don't worry. You won't get hurt anymore. I will protect you."
Who wrote this? With no doubts, I replied.
"Who are you?"
It's very queer to know that someone wrote on my paper because of the thought that no one comes to this place. (Why would someone dare to go to a playground with rusty and dirty equipments?)
I go home with a big confusion on my head. Questions left unanswered. Questions like Why would someone dare to go to that place?; Why did s/he bother to read what's written on the paper?; and Who wrote those words? What does s/he mean by 'I will protect you'?
Whoever s/he is, I won't stop until I find the answers to my questions.
***
The next morning, I woke up. The dark bags under my eyes were visible, proving that I had a bad sleep last night.
