MOONLIGHT [달빛] [BTFMR BOOK II] [GOT7 FF]

Chapter XVI

[A double update because why not?]

Start---

Am I mad? Do I hate him? I'm not certain. I'm still baffled with all the things I just came to remember. It's just I really do not know what to do. How did it fall into this? And how many times did I ask myself this?

Not an answer came but another question arises after another, all in shuffle and then repeat. The questions in my head seemed to be in a playlist.

Squinting my eyes and opening it slowly, I felt a hand tightened its grip on mine.

"Finally, you're awake."

It's Jungkook.

"How are you feeling? Do you remember me now?" he asked.

The smile on his face never left. But his eyes are welling up, his lips kind of trembling. He never let go of my hand too.

"Jungkook," I called him and pulled my body up. "I'm sorry," I said breaking in tears and hugged him. "I'm really sorry. Noona's never going to leave you again."

"It's okay noona. I know you only did that to save everyone. But don't ever ever do that again please?" he said breaking the hug and wiped my tears.

"I promise you," forcing myself to smile because I can't hold back my tears. It's been weeks and I didn't even know that my own brother is just around me. "I miss you so much."

He sniffed, "I miss you too," he hugged me again. "Noona..."

"Hmm?"

"Jinyoung hyung..."

Just the mention of his name, it seemed like all the confusions went bank in inside my head. Now that I remember it all, I have to face another problem.

How will I face Jinyoung now? Now that I know that he was the reason of my dad's death? But it wasn't his idea, Dylan only used him. He wasn't himself. But if only he was himself, none of these will happen. My dad would still be alive and I'll have a completely different life.

"Do you regret it?" Jungkook asked. "Before you lost your memories, Jinyoung hyung and you were fine together. Now that you know that he was that werewolf who caused our father's death, do you now regret being with him?"

"I—I don't know," I answered but there is this little madness in my tone.

"He only did that because he can't control himself. Dylan drove him to do that kind of thing. It wasn't his fault," Jungkook said.

"That's it. If only he was himself, our parents wouldstill be alive right now. Dad won't have that accident that made mom miserable and horribly depressed and sick at the time until she die, if only he was himself. If only he can control that beast in him none of this will happen! Right?" I almost shouted every word I uttered at Jungkook.

Now I finally confronted all my confusions. Jinyoung... why? Why can't you control yourself back then? I never wanted to hate you but why?!

"If only... he was... mom and dad..." I can't finish my thoughts because I can't contain what I'm feeling. Its madness, regret and sorrow. "They would still be with us right now. They would still be alive. And we could be together. Right?"

"Nonoona," Jungkook slowly shook his head."Dylan would still be there," he added crying. "If none of these happened, it will only be mom, dad and you. There will only be the three of you. I will never be there. I will only remain as your dead brother. Whom you never got the chance to see."