Chapter 17

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Matteo's POV

Arloe's little hand is the only part of him that I can see when he says 'I love you mama and papa'

It's then when my heart expands and feels like it will explode in my chest. It is that feeling of pure unconditional love between parent and child. I knew that Arloe was my son but he didn't know that I was his father, it was kind of a one sided relationship. But now? He knows I am his father.

But the true  happiness faded and left me with his arch nemesis... worry.

I have never felt worry and anxiousness as bad as this. My son's life is literally in someone else's hands. And I mean literally because Arloe has been in the Operating Theatre for 3 hours so by now Dr. Jackson Hunt probably has his hands in Arloe's chest.

The thought of that; my little boy unconscious on a slightly warmed operating table with his chest cracked open, hands inside his chest and on his heart, as well as surgeons operating on his 'jelly' (a.k.a his brain), his word not mine, with metal instruments all over, tools I couldn't even imagine the names of and scary people in blue operating clothes, made me feel sick.

Understandably the doctors are trying to save his life but I am still really nervous. Anything could happen in there!!

Grace is just sat quietly on a chair reading a book. How can she sit so still when all I want to do is scream at the nurses for updates, but they'll just tell me what they already have 'I apologise for the lack of information, however I can't provide you with an update since I am not in that OR. A nurse or intern should be up shortly'

I walk over to Grace and sit on the chair beside her, staring at her until she looks at me.

'What?' She questions.

'How can you sit still? How are you not a wreck? Because I assure you I can't sit still and I am a wreck!' I say

'I've done this before. That doesn't make it any less scary or anything less than a nightmare, but, it does mean that I know exactly what to expect. No news is good news...'

We are sat staring at each other when a nurse comes up to us. At first I didn't register that she was there, until she coughed lightly to get our attention.

'Miss Tremblay? Arloe's mother?'

'Yes, that's me...' Grace says hesitantly and I would bet my entire business empire that this news was not good news.

'There has been a complication with your son's surgery'

And just like that, Grace's and my world began falling apart.

Dr. Jackson Hunt's POV
I love my job as a surgeon, I save lives but today I don't love my job.

Today I don't love my job because i am operating on my best friend's son. This little boy has been a patient of mine since he was born. He truly was a miracle, the interns at work made bets on whether he would survive. I don't gamble. Never have and never will but if I was to bet on it I would've bet on him to lose the battle of survival. But only because the odds were stacked so high against him. But, he made it and the day he walked out of this hospital I felt that I'd finally done something worthwhile as a surgeon. But now he is back, fighting for his life for a second time.

When he went into cardiac arrest, I thought we were too late, we shocked him three times already, my colleague was ready to call time of death but I wasn't. So... I broke protocol. I shocked him for a fourth time. The second the heart monitor started beeping again I was relieved but knew the next few minutes in getting him to surgery were crucial. We let Grace and Matteo say a goodbye but I always hope it's more of just a 'see you later kiddo' and we rush Arloe to the operating theatre. I am at the left hand foot of the bed. As we wheel Arloe down the corridor he just sticks his hand through the side of the rail on his bed and says...

'I love you mama and papa'

Oh god. I know that I hold the lives of children in my hands most days but this is different. It's different because it's personal!

'Arloe?' I ask him in the elevator.

'Yes Jack?' He says, I know, he calls me uncle jack because I visit his mother often and we are pretty close friends.

Arloe eyes are huge, and blue, and staring directly at me. He says seriously 'I live mama and papa but if I don't wake up 'ater can you make sure they don't cry for too long' he gives me puppy eyes and I could cry. Me? A paeds surgeon with balls of steel, cry?

'Arloe, you are the one who decides to either wake up or whether you don't. You need to fight even if it's hard because your mama and papa will be extremely upset if you don't wake up. You need to be a big brave boy Arloe. Can you do that for me, your mama, your papa, and your sister?'

'Yeah, promise!' He says. We are now in the operating theatre and the anaesthetist is ready.

'Count how many monkeys you see on the ceiling from Arloe'

'1....2....3....4............'

And just like that, the kid is under anaesthetic.

Two hours later into the surgery,  everything seems to be going fine when Arloe goes into cardiac arrest again. Immediately, we start CPR and use the paddles to shock his heart into a regular rhythm again. About 30 minutes later, he goes into cardiac arrest again, it takes 3 shocks to restart his heart regularly. Jeez, kiddo. We have another 6 hours to go and this is not a good start.

We get back to work, the CPR kit is on stand by. The OR timer reaches 4 hours and there has been no other complications, I have fixed the leak in his chest and I have decided that he needs to stabilise before we bring him back into surgery. Maybe a week or sooner?

'Rebecca, I need you to go to Miss Tremblay, Arloe's mother and tell them there was a complication. Then, calmly tell them that there son is stable, for now, but is in the children's ICU, tell them that I will be there with Arloe and I will answer all their questions about the complications then. Usually, I would leave the patient with the anaesthesia team and nurses whilst I go talk to the parents about the successes/failures/complications of the surgery.

The OR team and I roll out of the OR room with Arloe. Time to break the bad news.

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