"I don't think that's a good idea" Says the younger one irrationally, she doesn't think being under the pouring rain was necessary, plus it's cold enough for her to brawl in this weather, her hands were numbing from the utter coldness around her, her fingers were almost a lighter shade of grey. Somehow she thinks that this would be the death of her.
"Why not?"
Lauren stops at her feet turning around to look at Camila's anchored expression, she sometimes thinks that Camila's always uptight when it comes by just simply enjoying the little things, the rain was a patio to the green eyed girl, she loves the rain, how at one point it feels like her shoulders are weightless, she can focus on the rains settlement through her skin, sometimes cold and too cold, but she loves that, being able to feel just as significant to that.
"You'll get sick, Lauren" Camila states flatly,
"What do you suggest?"
Camila stood grounded contemplating her next actions, Lauren's firm stare was so overwhelming that her throat had somehow gone dry, she gulped harshly making her shut her eyes in the sudden pain that she was feeling from her head, she ignores the unblissful pain for the time being, flattering her eyes back at the older Latina.
"Can you think of something else?"
Lauren stares spatially before she shrugged coherently.
"I just want to step out of the rain, it's your call"
Camila has emitted Lauren's indigenous well-being, Lauren does what she wants, she envies her for being just loose, she cannot stand being one, she was thought that a lot of things mattered, her concerns were deeply relevant and she knew that, but trying to gain control wasn't part of her thought provoking actions, Camila cannot raise Lauren out from what she wants, besides the boundaries were still there, the only difference was that Lauren had buried her walls to the ground, Camila was less conceited by her own decisions, that pressures her.
"It's your terms" Camila says formally looking anywhere but Lauren.
"And I suppose that it's your call" Lauren snared.
Lauren trudged towards Camila's doorframe while patiently waiting for the other girl to associate her commands, no it wasn't necessary for any conformity, but somehow Lauren feels like she needs that from the younger girl, besides, Camila was quite odd, she wasn't implying that Camila was either too bossy nor possessive of her, she just thinks that she must consider the fact that the younger girl has prominently brawled with her thoughts every time she would make a indecisive decision, her struggles were translucent to Lauren, saddening to think even.
"I can watch" Camila seemingly has given her conformity by following her to the door.
"Would that lessen your worry?" Lauren warily says, looking unsure.
Camila stares thoroughly at the dull aspect of the rain's resonance, hypothetically she hated rain, because it signifies evitable pain, sadness, and mild deception of things to her, she doesn't think that pain was beauty no, she thinks it was leisurely evil, the abandonment that she felt before has slowly crept back through her built walls, the rain's frantic down pour had put her onto a dull demeanor. Lauren had somehow sensed the younger girl's shift of mood.
Of course Lauren had forgotten about Camila's burden, about Camila's constant thinking, Camila was still adjusting to things, taking it somehow slow but surely just enough for her to preside herself from identifying and classifying when pain would chase after her, Lauren's features soften when Camila's tense features solemnly identifies the crucial broken part of her.
"I've changed my mind, it's too cold"
Camila was then snapped back from her thoughts after drifting out from the older Latina's provident staring, Camila's eyes had lose its glint, her composure has faltered when she shut her eyes derivatively trying to gain conscious of her subsiding emotions, Lauren swiftly inches closer to the younger girl, cautiously pushing a few strands that we're hanging from either side of her face, weakly smiling.
"Let's go get coffee instead" Lauren breathed out, simply dragging Camila back inside.
Camila sat next at the counter while the older girl was brewing coffee, Camila knew that Lauren had put knowledge to her thriving emotions, she hated to be pitied, but Camila doesn't think that Lauren pitied her, she gives this a different meaning, Lauren was no less different to her, and she definitely needs to at least credit her for that.
"You have experienced worse" She muttered under her breath.
That's when the older girl had deridingly sat from the opposite side of her, blatantly looking constricted and more adjourn to Camila's enigmatic concern, the older girl had laid both of her elbows at the kitchen counter trying to look as emptive as possible, she was looking at Camila expectantly, before she had precisely spoke for herself.
"Experienced worse?" Lauren asks, giving her a questioning look.
"I'm referring to the coldness"
Lauren nods exquisitely pleased by Camila's memorandum, she was indeed expecting the younger girl to point it out, she has a very clear apprehension of remembering certain things, she had even come to think that maybe Camila has a secret stash of all of her minds excretions, she defiantly would forget those small exchanges, but Camila was the opposite, she was identically observant.
"I have" Lauren's tone was adjacent to Camila's, she was playfully smiling.
"What was the main reason, Lauren?"
Camila's tone had dependently matched Lauren's.
Lauren was fully aware that Camila has been serious about the subject, she seems to deem herself since Camila has mentioned her name thoroughly distant than it was before, she sighed in deep realization that the younger girl had pounded into her thoughts, she was getting bad at lying, and that somehow bothers the older Latina. Camila has a very vivid virtue of reading people, though she doesn't speak much of it, if not necessarily needed to be stated.
"You don't like rain" The older girl simply said by saddling her attention back to the brewer.
"That doesn't concern you"
Camila's remorseful thoughts had felt grand, the idea of Lauren having to think less for herself has set a lot of edges to the young girl, she cannot produce quite poignancy that Lauren had given her, she felt so selfish for having to push the girl out of her wants because she was inaudibly broken and needs to be ideally pitied, and that puts Camila less at ease.
"Come to think of it, it does"
Lauren settled back in front of Camila, trying to figure out the younger girls running dissonance, her speculations were the specific, she knows that the basic part of it was having to think that she was pushing the older girl to her unwanted pleasures, Lauren had studied Camila enough, she knows Camila just enough.
Camila's reluctance to look at her was unsettling. She would always justify herself if she have to, if that meant to cease Camila's negativity towards things, she would relatively do it all over again, Camila has contracted herself too much from her thoughts that she somehow forgets how to be humanly coordinate with some other stuff, she had forgotten that humans were determined to feel pain in order to be one, Camila had minded too much that she had forgotten her capacity to mind her own.
"Let me worry for you, Camila"
"You can choose not to"
"To make it much easier for you?" Lauren had stepped out of the boundaries, she had crossed the spaces that were drawn between them, and she was frightful that she might be making a tremendous decision for their friendship for its spiral, hence she would blame it all to herself if it does.
"No, to make it much easier, for you"
Lauren's breath was caught when Camila stares at her with finality, Camila had thought about this a couple of times, the younger girl had came to her preclusions of not having anything to do with their lingering resolutions, with that being stated, Lauren has concluded that Camila wasn't ready for the next step, she has drawn a heavy breath before ceasing to nod at Camila's predicament. Maybe she wasn't trying her hardest after all.
The older Latina was so crestfallen that she opted herself to not speak.
She had given Camila her usual mug trying to punctuate a less awkward matter, she poured herself a drink before settling back at her seat, silence were shoved between them, Lauren wonders what could the girl have in mind. She let's herself postulate with the dividend lingering thoughts and the bitter taste of coffee.
Camila was on her usual dissolution of having to say more, but it's scaring her that she might say the wrong thing, she's scared of the that Lauren would fully erase her from her thoughts because she wasn't giving her enough credits, she's scared that Lauren might somehow realize that she cannot put up with the younger girl no more, she's scared of her objectifying thoughts of having to let go of her because she was still caught up with her past that there wasn't enough space for Lauren.
Camila was horrified.
"I'll head back home" Lauren stated after she washed her cup.
"You can stay, Lauren"
Lauren sadly looks at Camila as she sighed propitiously before heading towards the front door, Camila trailed behind thinking of the worse, her nerves were getting the best of her, Lauren must be tired.
"I can't, I have some other things to do, I'm not mad at you"
Camila couldn't protest, it was her fault that all their quos had break its formality onto different phases, she could have chose to let Lauren in, but she chose not to because she was deprived by the emitting pain that she was still feeling, the unequipped hurting was on the top of her head and she couldn't risk the same thing that 'she' had took from her, the unwillingness wasn't compelling to Camila, it wasn't at all.
"Camila, I understand"
Lauren involuntary had stated, she couldn't just take Camila's features being humid and uncoordinated, she understood her premises and she wouldn't leave it to simply by just understanding, she can always try to change her abrupt point of view of things, she just needs to figure it out for herself first, and she doesn't think that being around Camila would do any good, she pointedly looked at the younger girl as if to assure her that she has indeed, understood.
"Take care of yourself"
"You would choose to go?" Camila's voice cracks under the ridge of her throat.
"You have chose of not letting go, so I think it's just about fair to do so"
Camila knew what Lauren meant, she shrunk rather quickly by the older girl's predicament, she was absolutely right on that, she had somehow chosen of not letting go, of her past, of what put her into her misery, of what changed her perception of all other people being kind to her, of having to stick to herself of all things, of having to shield herself from the alluding pain. And that pains her more. It pains her to the bone that she cannot make place for Lauren because it had been all compromised by the person who crushed her.
"And I understand" Camila states before gently pushing the door in front of her.
