Camila finds it more difficult to classify her dreams as both, as right and terrifying at the same time. It seems right, everything was supposed to be all right if she had chosen to stay, and she'd also say that it was terrifying, terrifying because how she wished that it was actual, to be able to think alone of how she has badly hoped that it was real was what she feared the most.
Terrified, that's what she is, because she knew that there's a fine line between her and her emotions towards the Portuguese and if she was to show up randomly, she had concluded that her feelings for Lauren wasn't applicable enough, she knew that whatever she was feeling for the older Latina was just to help her conceal her discomfort. And how she badly would want the contradictory of her thoughts.
Guilt hits her grimly when she saw the worry on Lauren's green orbs, she stares at it unconcealed while the other girl was still consumed in deep distress as Camila hasn't said a word yet. The brown one's gazes at Lauren's features, agonizingly she had it cut short as Lauren tucks in a loose strand of hair from her face.
"You sounded so miserable, so I had to wake you" Lauren cuts her trance, "How are you feeling?"
That was the last question Camila would want to hear, she doesn't know exactly, it was so diverged that she couldn't possibly think of something that would either give her a response to that, she was somehow frustrated of the fact to how heavily vague she was with herself. Her eyes flickered anywhere but Lauren, her breathing was erratic due to the compromising empathy she was in and by the time that she has opted to talk, the green eyed girl beats her to it.
"Not well I presume" She utters, gaze never faltering.
Camila deridingly looks at Lauren in deep wonder as her eyes were too contrasted to peruse, usually Lauren wasn't hard to figure out and she'd be appalled to even persist that she wasn't doing a very decent job at it, she lightly draws in a breath before she encloses the space between them. Lauren faintly yelps at the sudden movement, her eyes wide in realization from the exterior of Camila's brown one's as it glances at her mouth.
The young Latina wasn't exactly sure of her inclination over her whirling sentiment, she wanted to at least feel something, she couldn't help but discern that she was being selfish, even. She gently caresses Lauren's left cheek with her thumb as if steadying herself from her pulsing confinement. Looking at Lauren swiftly closing her eyes the moment that she had touched her skin makes it even harder to bear. The reduction of her concerns shouldn't include hurting other people just because she couldn't think figuratively, but the constant image of her former girlfriend emits her to favor.
Her eyes wandered at Lauren's lips not too long before it come in contact with hers, her eyes shuts instinctively before resting her hands on Lauren's shoulder blades, she could feel the older Latina shudder at the sudden contact, and she gently cups Camila's cheeks trying to learn her by heart, the kiss wasn't suggestive, the older one noticed this before she blandly pulled out in utter confusion. She was rather surprised when Camila's eyes bores vacantly with her green ones.
Lauren did feel nearly the same as to the word bliss but she just felt how sudden and dreary Camila's attitude was, like how awfully tensed she is, her lips barely felt like it was touching hers too.
Camila, somehow was subjected to the idea that she was stuck and she was so torn and thrown off by the idea that she still was hoping that she'd come back when she knew that it was already impractical, her vision stalled at the small spaces between them in anticipation of what she's going to suggest next.
"Can I kiss you again?"
Lauren was stunned by the girl's expressed so as to elicit information of her thoughts, it's not likely that the older Latina could've just heard such conscious decisions, specially coming from her. If she was to dispute it, she wouldn't even infer it as something that Camila would've said. She somehow got used to her boundaries that she have learn to care and dissect more into giving it to her, this was somewhat contemporary also.
